Dear Dubai....I am divorcing you.....

Ha funny how the ones defending dubai and their amazing lives are the ones with the highest posts. Cant be that fun here if all you do is post on EW all day every day. Think you'll find love it's the people with the high posts that communicate with their fellow expats and therefore dont need to find fault with everything around them as they have feel involved and related to.

You didn’t tell me that nobody seems to say thank you. Really?! Goodness, again that's rare in my experience. I get thanked all over the place. I get smiled at, as I said above, and 'hello'd' and my health is asked after all the time. I get this from people in shops and from friends; I get it from everyone out here, in fact. :) You didn’t tell me that my husband would have to jump through hoops at work to please his local investors, get treated like an office junior and is expected to wait for people at meetings arriving HOURS late. Again, that's an experience you've suffered with which I can't relate. I have found DH's workplace to be encouraging in the extreme; they may work him like a dog, but he is absolutely recompensed for it. As for the meetings/lateness issue, again, did you do your research? Meetings are postponed/delayed for all manner of reasons out here and it is NOT considered rude or uncommon. It is just one of those things. If a family incident crops up, then business flies out the window. It's just the way things are [and is cultural, not an attack on the worker'>. ;) You didn’t tell me that the fruit and vegetables here would all look and taste like they have been on the back of a lorry for six weeks and injected with hormones. Gosh, all of them? Seriously? I bought some incredibly sweet tomatoes just a day ago which tasted like they'd been grown in my back yard in Australia. I have had mangoes and avocadoes, too, which taste just like they're from the fruit markets back home. I have learned to be choosy where fruit and veges [and meat!'> are concerned, but I have enjoyed the process. I have enjoyed looking for new ingredients and cooking with them. I have enjoyed learning about foods which I couldn't hope to buy either in London or Australia, and while I may pay a little over the odds for them, I am happy. You didn’t tell me that all the neighbours think that they are on holiday and have parties after parties after parties, even on school nights. Must be a district thing. Where I live in Dubai, a family/villa zone, parties are few and far between, and in four years, have only been held on Friday nights or during religious holidays. The most 'annoying' [and it isn't!'> noise I have in my area is the birds early in the morning, waiting to be fed in my garden! :D You didn’t tell me that there was NOTHING to do here apart from the beach or to shop. I never expected to be so bored. You should look to your OWN lifestyle rather than Dubai in this instance. It's not Dubai's fault that you are bored. What did you expect? The West End? Broadway? MoMA?! This is a YOUNG city, as you might have known had you done some reading before coming, and Dubai is what YOU make of it. I can't say there aren't times I haven't been a bit lonely, but bored? Never. And I am NOT a 'shops/beach' person. In fact, I haven't been to the beach once since I've been here. I have, however, visited art galleries, gone to the souks, made marvellous new friends, had dinner parties, read loads of books, eaten out at amazing new restaurants, done tapestry, walked and explored Dubai, cooked/baked for friends, planned special events [a recent 'Christmas in February' springs to mind!'> and generally, kept myself occupied. Oh, and I've looked after DH. That's not been too shabby, by the way, despite my jokes about it. :D You didn’t tell me that I would be treated like a second rate person because I am not Arabic. Interesting. I've never felt that. I knew exactly who and what I was when I came to this country and fully expected to be a 'second class person' but guess what: I've never felt like that. The locals I have come to know have been kindness itself, welcoming and friendly, and it's only been the odd idiot who's made me feel weird about being here. But guess what? I'm betting there are LOADS of people in the UK who feel equally as rotten about being 'new' to the country, and probably get a lot more stick about being THERE than we do about being HERE. You didn’t tell me that people were treated like slaves here whilst the big shots have it all. Again, everyone who is on the lowest rung in a country, be they construction workers in Dubai or au pairs in the UK, are treated a little less kindly [and sometimes, downright terribly'> than those who are further up the food chain. I get so SICK of people judging Dubai, which as I have said is a very young country, on human rights issues, when there are still issues of this nature in their home countries. Try human trafficking for one. London is a thoroughfare for eastern European prostitutes and I don't see too many people helping THEM out of their fix. There isn't even proper legislation to protect them [at least, not effective legislation'> ... but that's another thread. ;) You didn’t tell me that I would get lied to all the time by delivery men, shop workers and repair men. Strange. I've had the odd idiot -- last week I had a bloke putting up curtains who used my bathroom as a spit bucket! -- but on the whole, everyone who's looked after me has been great. And in fact, the very same bloke who was splashing water and making mess around my villa ALSO took it upon himself, unasked [and without telling me afterwards!'>, to repair the handles of the doors to my bedroom and bathroom; handles which had been loose and dropping off for a few months. Emrill hadn't done it, and this guy just did it. Just because. I call that service and if there are a few lies here and there, a few prevarications, a few 'promises of delivery' to no avail, well honestly: that's just like my home countries [Australia AND England!'>.

Horses for courses I guess. DH and I were only saying (or perhaps I should say slurring as we'd opened a second bottle) that we felt blessed to be here. And we did say 'blessed'm but it was the second bottle after all. Best of luck to NYC Doll (will miss your comments!) and mamaballs I feel blessed to be here too. Its better for my family right now. Thank god we were here during the financial melt down.But that doesnt mean I can't miss home and look forward to moving back. I miss my friends, family, four seasons. For example, when my husband is away on business I feel lonely at night. Back home, I would have spent the night at my moms for a good home cooked meal and a movie. Its simple things I miss. I also miss all the good shopping ;) Yeh NYC, but that kind of stuff is understandable, but slagging off DUbai is another thing, isn't it? Did I slag it off? No, but yet you still offered to help me plan my move back? That's not very friendly is it? And frankly, it is that kind of thing that is really off putting here in Dubai.

You didn’t tell me that the summers were so hot that you basically had to hibernate all summer. Goodness. Why on earth hadn't you done your research?! Had you done so, you would have learned that despite the heat and humidity being beyond a joke, that everywhere out here from the tiniest shops to the cabs to the malls, is air-conditioned beautifully, to the extent that one has to carry a wrap when visiting such places. Dubai, like many areas in this part of the world, is HOT. It just is. And those who come to live and work here expecting it to be a bit moist rather than deathly, are only fooling themselves. Had the heat been such an issue to you -- and had you done the appropriate research! -- I expect you may have moved elsewhere. For the rest of us, we roll with it. We escape -- IF we can -- or we make plans to get around it. I am coming into my fourth summer here and I love it. I love the peace and quiet on the roads, I do love the stillness that the heat engenders, and coming out of the heat and into the beautiful autumn and even crisper winter, is one of the pleasures of my life out here. You didn’t tell me that even the best schools in Dubai were only on a par with good state primary schools in the UK and were at least a year behind private schools. I don't have an opinion on this, not having children, but I have spoken to parents and have found that it really depends on the school, and the teacher, as with any schooling system around the world. The point is: you have to do your research and find the right 'fit' for your child, again, just as you would elsewhere. True, there are criticisms of certain lessons not being necessary for expat children, but think of the amazing life lessons your children are learning, situated as they are in such a vibrant young country with so many children from other cultures. You didn’t tell me that there is such an air of arrogance from most people that step foot in this place – people don’t say ‘after you’ here. They just walk straight past you and let doors go in your face. I am glad the Titanic did not sink in Dubai. I have experienced this sporadically at best. It is so rare, in fact, that I wouldn't even pass comment on it. I have also found that a favour given is a favour which comes back to you; all the doors I hold open, the smiles I give, the 'hellos' to strangers I deliver, are returned ten-fold by everyone I meet. I don't doubt your feelings, but it is not symptomatic of my life here. You didn’t tell me that everyone on the road would try to kill me, nobody has any manners and they toot their horns at you constantly for just letting another driver out of a junction or IMMEDIATELY as the lights turn green. Oh wow, the roads here are great! I love them! I also love driving, it's true, but I put minor -- and they ARE minor! -- issues on the road down to ignorance not out-and-out rudeness. I've had more arrogance on the roads in London, to be honest, and since I observe a 'take no prisoners' attitude [while still observing the road rules'> I have, in almost four years, never had a problem here. At least, not one worth moaning about. [i'>To be continued ...[/i'>

Horses for courses I guess. DH and I were only saying (or perhaps I should say slurring as we'd opened a second bottle) that we felt blessed to be here. And we did say 'blessed'm but it was the second bottle after all. Best of luck to NYC Doll (will miss your comments!) and mamaballs I feel blessed to be here too. Its better for my family right now. Thank god we were here during the financial melt down.But that doesnt mean I can't miss home and look forward to moving back. I miss my friends, family, four seasons. For example, when my husband is away on business I feel lonely at night. Back home, I would have spent the night at my moms for a good home cooked meal and a movie. Its simple things I miss. I also miss all the good shopping ;) Yeh NYC, but that kind of stuff is understandable, but slagging off DUbai is another thing, isn't it?

Horses for courses I guess. DH and I were only saying (or perhaps I should say slurring as we'd opened a second bottle) that we felt blessed to be here. And we did say 'blessed'm but it was the second bottle after all. Best of luck to NYC Doll (will miss your comments!) and mamaballs I feel blessed to be here too. Its better for my family right now. Thank god we were here during the financial melt down.But that doesnt mean I can't miss home and look forward to moving back. I miss my friends, family, four seasons. For example, when my husband is away on business I feel lonely at night. Back home, I would have spent the night at my moms for a good home cooked meal and a movie. Its simple things I miss. I also miss all the good shopping ;)

Ha funny how the ones defending dubai and their amazing lives are the ones with the highest posts. Cant be that fun here if all you do is post on EW all day every day. Wouldn't say that-I have cakes in the oven, am cutting out a quilt between posts and organizing a photobook of my daughter's wedding so happily multi-tasking. Later tonight I will beoff walking down the creek. Maybe we have more posts because we have been here longer! I also have a very ill son who never sleeps more than 2 hours a night so I have learnt to do without sleep and have more waking time than others! Not sure if my life is amazing but I am happy!

Bored? How could you be bored? There are so many things to do apart from beaching and shopping, Chocs, you are right. I always find things to do anywhere I am. Bored people must have no imagination. What, like pressing the refresh button? ;-P fortunately for me, I am working right now, so I can sit on here all day long (and often all night), and be alerted when a mail comes in to be dealt with. If I am not on EW, it means I am offline, which in turn means I am skiving.....or it is SUnday and China is closed... What a fun life you have Yes, I do.

Rude, yes! Honest, yes! I have seen so many people come and go, it's as if the moment they decide to leave Dubai they slag it off. I truly think its a low self esteem issue or perhaps a resentment that they have tried and failed at something and want others to blame. Failure to make friends or as much money as you think you should have...... Lets face it back home has just as much faults and maybe more if we are honest but it is our comfort zone and for most an easier option. So yes good riddance and thank you for your contribution or lack of.

I don't know why people freak out if you dare say you are not thrilled living here. Its just an opinion. My husband was transfered here and we were told it was paradise. And before you ask, "well why don't you just leave"...uhhh world econimic meltdown...not too many jobs back home or even a chance to transfer back. So we decided to stay put. Jeez, for some people its as simple as missing your family and friends and western culture. Why do people get so upset if you say you don't like it here. Some people hate NYC, its not for them, I don't take it personal. Unless of course...deep down inside you feel the same way but don't want to say it out loud? If not then you wouldnt feel a need to put others down for their preference. but mama balls didn't mention missing family...probably because imo that's a given for everyone here..but many of the things she points out aren't the same for everyone.. cba but i would be able to challenge every single point she made. But as others have said - each to his own and if Dubai doesn't work for you then best to cut your losses and go. Agreed with Freckles though, the thread is a bit like flouncing out of a room because the conversation doesn't go your way lol

Good luck to you. I am hoping for the same. Too expensive for us to live here, hard to tell kids we can't afford Kidzania or SkiDubai etc etc. Also, need to live a little, because we can't here because I was born Muslim eventhough I ain't really a follower, I get dragged into things by law, not by choice. Gosh, I'd like to walk into a bottle store and choose my OWN wine...simple pleasure ;-)

Good luck Mamaballs, I hope you find what you are looking for. It is true not everyone enjoys Dubai, we are all different and we ought to respect everyone. All the best!

Well mamaballs is pretty bang on with her statements about the place, however, it is what you make it at the end of the day. If you let all that stuff get to you, then yes it will be hard.

Bored? How could you be bored? There are so many things to do apart from beaching and shopping, Chocs, you are right. I always find things to do anywhere I am. Bored people must have no imagination. What, like pressing the refresh button? ;-P fortunately for me, I am working right now, so I can sit on here all day long (and often all night), and be alerted when a mail comes in to be dealt with. If I am not on EW, it means I am offline, which in turn means I am skiving.....or it is SUnday and China is closed... What a fun life you have

Ha funny how the ones defending dubai and their amazing lives are the ones with the highest posts. Cant be that fun here if all you do is post on EW all day every day.

Bored? How could you be bored? There are so many things to do apart from beaching and shopping, Chocs, you are right. I always find things to do anywhere I am. Bored people must have no imagination. What, like pressing the refresh button? ;-P fortunately for me, I am working right now, so I can sit on here all day long (and often all night), and be alerted when a mail comes in to be dealt with. If I am not on EW, it means I am offline, which in turn means I am skiving.....or it is SUnday and China is closed...

Actually I feel very sad for the OP. There is no paradise on earth and every place has its goods and bads. Unfortunately, she didn't experienced the goods in Dubai. I understand every single line of her letter... yet experienced so much more from Dubai ! <em>edited by Tiki on 23/03/2011</em>

That was a rude reply Nutty. Mamaballs is upset and I feel v bad that she feels this way. Life is not always fair & kind to all, so for all those who are having a good time in life, pls dont look down & frown upon the ones who have seen troubled times which mamaballs obviously has. I emphathise with u mama & wish u a great life where ever u r headed to. Good bye & wish u a good life. x Agreed !

I beg to differ.... Dear Dubai.......we are in it for the long haul From the first light of morning the call to prayer fills me with serenity and hope. I expected a sand pit-I live surrounded by wide swathes of green lawns and palms hung heavily with dates-and even the odd beds of petunias! I even enjoy knowing what the weather will be each day-hot or hotter-and appreciate all the more the air conditionned bus stops and buildings I feared I would be cooped up in a compound-I live freely surrounded by people from many nations. I feared isolation as we don't have a car. Instead I discovered cheap taxis, a smooth and inexpensive metro and efficient bus system. I feared lonliness. I can linger at a coffee morning for hours meeting people from all nations and walks of life that I would never have had the chance to meet back home and learn about their cultures. I expected a community of career-focused individuals-I go to the mals and see extended families out together enjoying each other's company with the older children holding their siblings hands. I selfishly thought I might miss the comforts and foods that mean home but found malls and supermarkets full of foods and goods I had never seen or tasted. At night I can walk unafraid and alone along the creek watching and enjoying impromptu cricket matches, bargain in the market, smell the spices and return home happily nibbling Indian snacks and bread straight from the street ovens as the call to prayer once again echoes across the creek. Everytime I hear the Dubai Fountains playing 'Time to Say Goodbye" I shiver -hoping t isn't my time to say goodbye to Dubai. +1

Horses for courses I guess. DH and I were only saying (or perhaps I should say slurring as we'd opened a second bottle) that we felt blessed to be here. And we did say 'blessed'm but it was the second bottle after all. Best of luck to NYC Doll (will miss your comments!) and mamaballs

I don't have a problem with people expressing their opinions but I think this thread is just a little bit silly and attention seeking. Its one thing to write and say you are leaving and are not happy with Dubai etc but the OP's post is a little histrionic

Bored? How could you be bored? There are so many things to do apart from beaching and shopping, Chocs, you are right. I always find things to do anywhere I am. Bored people must have no imagination. What, like pressing the refresh button? ;-P

I don't know why people freak out if you dare say you are not thrilled living here. Its just an opinion. My husband was transfered here and we were told it was paradise. And before you ask, "well why don't you just leave"...uhhh world econimic meltdown...not too many jobs back home or even a chance to transfer back. So we decided to stay put. Jeez, for some people its as simple as missing your family and friends and western culture. Why do people get so upset if you say you don't like it here. Some people hate NYC, its not for them, I don't take it personal. Unless of course...deep down inside you feel the same way but don't want to say it out loud? If not then you wouldnt feel a need to put others down for their preference.

I beg to differ.... Dear Dubai.......we are in it for the long haul From the first light of morning the call to prayer fills me with serenity and hope. I expected a sand pit-I live surrounded by wide swathes of green lawns and palms hung heavily with dates-and even the odd beds of petunias! I even enjoy knowing what the weather will be each day-hot or hotter-and appreciate all the more the air conditionned bus stops and buildings I feared I would be cooped up in a compound-I live freely surrounded by people from many nations. I feared isolation as we don't have a car. Instead I discovered cheap taxis, a smooth and inexpensive metro and efficient bus system. I feared lonliness. I can linger at a coffee morning for hours meeting people from all nations and walks of life that I would never have had the chance to meet back home and learn about their cultures. I expected a community of career-focused individuals-I go to the mals and see extended families out together enjoying each other's company with the older children holding their siblings hands. I selfishly thought I might miss the comforts and foods that mean home but found malls and supermarkets full of foods and goods I had never seen or tasted. At night I can walk unafraid and alone along the creek watching and enjoying impromptu cricket matches, bargain in the market, smell the spices and return home happily nibbling Indian snacks and bread straight from the street ovens as the call to prayer once again echoes across the creek. Everytime I hear the Dubai Fountains playing 'Time to Say Goodbye" I shiver -hoping t isn't my time to say goodbye to Dubai.

We're all different. We all came here for different reasons. There are extroverts and introverts and thousands of variations in between. mamaballs has a right to her opinion, just like those who love it here. Maybe the criticism of those of you who can't understand her point of view helped her to feel how she does. Well done for speaking up mamaballs!

That was a rude reply Nutty. Mamaballs is upset and I feel v bad that she feels this way. Life is not always fair & kind to all, so for all those who are having a good time in life, pls dont look down & frown upon the ones who have seen troubled times which mamaballs obviously has. I emphathise with u mama & wish u a great life where ever u r headed to. Good bye & wish u a good life. x

How can you divorce a country / city / emirate? That will go on my list for the "sayings you can't stand" thread

just planning our way back home. No offence taken, and now how can we assist you with your planning? Yep and there it is. Planning my way back because of people like you. Thanks for proving my point.

Dear Dubai I thought that I would write you a letter to explain my feelings toward you. When I first thought about coming to Dubai I was excited. I was taken in by the weather, the palm trees the apparent wealth of schools here, the shopping facilities and the wonderful multi-cultural population. I am disappointed Dubai. You didn’t tell me that the summers were so hot that you basically had to hibernate all summer. You didn’t tell me that even the best schools in Dubai were only on a par with good state primary schools in the UK and were at least a year behind private schools. You didn’t tell me that there is such an air of arrogance from most people that step foot in this place – people don’t say ‘after you’ here. They just walk straight past you and let doors go in your face. I am glad the Titanic did not sink in Dubai. You didn’t tell me that everyone on the road would try to kill me, nobody has any manners and they toot their horns at you constantly for just letting another driver out of a junction or IMMEDIATELY as the lights turn green. You didn’t tell me that nobody seems to say thank you. You didn’t tell me that my husband would have to jump through hoops at work to please his local investors, get treated like an office junior and is expected to wait for people at meetings arriving HOURS late. You didn’t tell me that the fruit and vegetables here would all look and taste like they have been on the back of a lorry for six weeks and injected with hormones. You didn’t tell me that all the neighbours think that they are on holiday and have parties after parties after parties, even on school nights. You didn’t tell me that there was NOTHING to do here apart from the beach or to shop. I never expected to be so bored. You didn’t tell me that I would be treated like a second rate person because I am not Arabic. You didn’t tell me that people were treated like slaves here whilst the big shots have it all. You didn’t tell me that I would get lied to all the time by delivery men, shop workers and repair men. You didn’t tell me that your road systems SUCK. You didn’t tell me that the administrative rubbish we have to deal with was like living in the 70’s. You didn’t tell me that you were no better than anywhere else in the world and would let me down this way. For that reason Dubai, I am divorcing you. I will be leaving you shortly and I hope that you learn from your mistakes and change. I will not miss you and I no longer love you. Goodbye. Blimey.... which Dubai were you in cos it doesn't sound like the one [i'>I'm[/i'> living in..... hope you won't be expecting alimony !!! lol (and you can have custody of the attitude :D)

Bored? How could you be bored? There are so many things to do apart from beaching and shopping, clearly you didn't look very far. Every place has it's faults, but the moaners don't make it any better. And what exactly did you do to try and change any of it? Chocs, you are right. I always find things to do anywhere I am. Bored people must have no imagination.