Friend cheating on his wife (also my friend) | ExpatWoman.com
 

Friend cheating on his wife (also my friend)

167
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 May 2015 - 22:46

Hi ladies,

I am in a difficult situtstion. One of my friend(male), who got Married to our common friend (very rich girl). So to say, the guy is having luxurious life on wife"s money. They have a daughter together. Couple moved to UAE and bought some properties and settled here one year back. Recently, my guy friend called and invited me and my husband over to their house for dinner. While chit chatting... They guy told me , he has "imported" his secret girl friend from home country and gave her a job in his company (he is running a business). Also provided her apartment and car and he often visits her. Now, I don't really get purpose of him sharing such thing with me, I was offended and told him, I don't feel comfortable being in touch with them and definitely not attending the dinner part with my hubby.

My friend said, he shared all this with me knowing that we are old friends, and I can keep his secrets. But actually I am feeling utility, knowing this guy friend is cheating on his wife, and wife is also my friend. She has been asking why I am not meeting them or in touch with them... I seriously have no clue whether to tell her or keep my mouth shut and stay away from all this.

I know for sure that the guy was not joking and I know this secret girl friend is working in their office. Sad part is, this guy belongs to lower middle class family and the wife who belongs to wealthy family... Fell for him. Now he is doing all this... And says that his wife has permitted him to keep extra marital affair, to which I don't believe. Today I got call from his wife, inviting me again for a dinner together.... I have no clue how handle this situation. TBH, I am not comfortable meeting her without keeping this secret. I might end up disclosing it to her and it could all be worse.

Any ideas please?

500
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EW GURU
Latest post on 13 May 2015 - 23:19
'I know a few husbands of my friends that are summer bachelors and I keep my mouth shut. I think they might know, but can't be bothered. One wife knew, but said she couldn't really blame him when she's not there for him.' WTF????? so she has to be around him all the time or he can't control his urges. Sad.
330
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 May 2015 - 10:04
Send anonymous email. This way nobody will know its you who sent it and she will know what a scumbag her cheating husband is. If he bragged to you about his cheating I am pretty sure all his close buddies know about it too. http://securemail.hidemyass.com/ Thats an excellent idea....do it
1848
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 May 2015 - 21:39
Send anonymous email. This way nobody will know its you who sent it and she will know what a scumbag her cheating husband is. If he bragged to you about his cheating I am pretty sure all his close buddies know about it too. http://securemail.hidemyass.com/
394
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 May 2015 - 14:54
The main trouble with your situation - if you decide not to say anything is having enough self control not to blurt something out by mistake!
458
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 May 2015 - 10:09
Never meddle in other people's lives!! Agreed...and mostly because it never goes well. You/We just don't know what is going on and she will never thankyou for it.
212
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 May 2015 - 09:48
Never meddle in other people's lives!!
330
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 May 2015 - 08:10
I shocks me at how many of you say you would not get involved...if it were you would you not want your friend to tell you???!
458
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 May 2015 - 06:22
The more I think about this the more angry I get (at him). Really...what a sleaze! I have a picture of him in my mind driving the car his wife paid for one inch from the bumper of my car when I'm with the kids flashing away when there is traffic ahead and to my side and I have nowhere to go because this seems to be exactly the kind of person he is. Why on EARTH would he tell you this other than to cement his "reputation" Unpleasant horrible little man.
311
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 22:23
Well, I tried to think what I would do, if in such situation. It totally depends on how I value this relationship. Its lot of stress to get involved so it better be worth the agony. If you value this relation: Are you sure of this? Sometime we understand things differently. If this is confirmed - go and let your friend face the truth.
420
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 15:50
I agree with everyone else -- keep out of it. It's a shame you were dragged into knowing about the affair but doing anything will only drag you into potentially worse and awkward situations. I know if my husband were cheating on I, I'd prefer it to come from him and not a friend or acquaintance. Perhaps encourage him to come clean if you feel the need to do something?
167
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 12:15
Thank you all for your opinion on the matter. Honestly, I don't really feel like getting involved in such issue... Considering my female friend is kind of liberal and she is found joking with her husband about having extra girl friend, so she can also have some "good time" around. I don't know if she will find it objectionable or would be OK. On the other side, my husband really really hate such characterless people, he will not be very pleased to find my self in such mess. I feel weird that my girl friend"s brother in law is also working in same business, with the amount of benefits (apartment, car, phone,excellent salary) for such a lower level job and without any huge experience , would not the brother in law have clues about what is going on? May be he knows and keeping quiet. I have met that secret girl friend of my friend at inauguration event, sadly ... She is involved in households and sometimes invited to the same dinner parties that I attend. If my husband would be doing such a thing and girl is around, I would definitely get to know. Anyway, it might be selfish but I think I will keep my self distant and keep my mouth shut on whole situation. :(
330
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 12:12
I would tell her, he sounds like a jerk so why would you want to stay friends with him anyway. he probably has told you so you will tell her cause he hasnt got the guts to tell her himself...
29
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 12:00
smartee, you are in a difficult situation. But this is what I think. Given the predicament that he has put you in, you have already distanced yourself from them. So assuming, you go ahead and tell her, does it really matter if he or she gets upset with you about this matter? You would have done your part as a good friend. If I were in her place, I really hope that one of my friends would opt to tell me the truth and save me from additional heartache. ....and honestly, I would give him a piece of my mind! I wouldn't want such kind of friend anyways. He is treating two women very badly here, both the wife and girlfriend.
984
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EW GURU
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 11:30
Your male friend is a total **** and an even bigger **** for telling you and putting you in a weird situation. If you dont tell your friend, and she finds out later that you knew all along, she will hate you. If you tell her now, she will hate him and he will hate you. This guy clearly doesnt feel guilty or any remorse, he seems to be gloating about it really, so I highly doubt he'll stop cheating any time soon (if ever). I don't think you owe him any loyality. <em>edited by sourskittleashnut on 11/05/2015</em>
308
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 09:59
Personally from my experience I would stay well clear of this situation - this happened to a very good friend of mine and the outcome was horrific, the husband of her friend hated her for telling his wife, her fried was angry as she had not told her straight away and in the end they ended up no longer friends a the couple in need felt they could no longer trust her ! Karma is a real B1tch and one day it will come back to bite with a vengeance, she will find out eventually and at that time you just need to be there to support her.
674
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EW GURU
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 09:51
You're the one who has to decide what to do, but I really have to agree, doing nothing is probably best. It may seem selfish and rude but this guy is a real a hole and bragging to you about it, just ups the jerk factor. Their monetary status means nothing except he's just proven he never had good intentions. As far as another invite, decline, keep declining and she'll get the point even if you did not intend to hurt her. If you spill, you'll most likely lose your friendship anyway. The truth may come out eventually but why would you want to put yourself in the middle of it. Eta yeah, you might want to tell the cheater, see if he will do or say anything. But if he's saying the wife permits it, he shouldn't feel threatened. It could be a case where she knows something, maybe not exactly, but makes a conscious choice to keep her eyes closed. <em>edited by Cherpie on 11/05/2015</em>
458
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 09:23
He sounds like a creep and an iditot. Also what kind of "friend" makes you complicit in his lie...that's doubly bad!! On the other hand...you're stuck now. You can't come between a man and a woman, no good will come of it. I think you stay far far away. What a horrible man.
2738
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 08:43
Leave it well alone.
6
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 08:18
The selfish idiot told you to share his guilt,,, I agree you should give him an opportunity to tell his wife and if not you should tell her. There is nothing but pain in her future, at least she will know she has a decent friend.
409
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 07:59
If you are a real friend, you would tell her what you know. There is nothing worse than being the only one in the dark.
2287
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 07:54
I don't see what background or money has to do with it. He's cheating on his wife, they're both your friend. If this is behaviour you condone, keep quiet and pretend. If this is behaviour you don't condone, tell the guy you have a problem with it and let him know you're not going to lie to your girlfriend any longer.
3220
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 02:51
Read this. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120713020354AAMHr48
4062
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 02:09
No idea what you should do but it seems very unfair to discontinue your friendship with her because her husband is having an affair. With such a lying prat of a husband she needs the support of her friends, not being ditched by them with no explanation.
2262
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 11 May 2015 - 01:41
not going to touch this one with a 10' barge pole lol....seriously, leave it alone.
 
 

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