I really, REALLY need some advice about my maid leaving. | ExpatWoman.com
 

I really, REALLY need some advice about my maid leaving.

173
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 September 2014 - 20:43

My maid is leaving after a year with us, her choice . She wants to stay in Dubai even though she has not yet found another sponsor (she has had months to find one and to be honest I do not think she has tried very hard)...sadly a bit like her job with us for the last year.

My husband has recently lost his job and we are leaving Dubai so she has known for weeks that if she has not found a new sponsor by the time her contract is up (which is next month) we will be cancelling her visa and sending her straight back to the Philippines (without the 30 grace period as we will no longer be in Dubai). We had tears, she said if we sent her home she would not be able to come back here due recent restrictions on filipino maids working in Dubai. So today, she asked if we could send her to either Oman or Kish instead as she will then be able to re-enter on a tourist visa giving her that extra 30 days to find another job and during that time she will stay with a friend.

I feel so uneasy about this, not only because of the stories I have heard about maids in Kish being stranded for weeks on end and worse but also (from a selfish point of view) I don't want to be responsible for her if it doesn't go according to plan. I have 3 young kids, 3 dogs, 2 cats and 1 moody husband to move back to Ireland along with our furniture so I would rather avoid any foreseeable dramas if possible.

So, what I need to know is, can I send her to either of these destinations, knowing she will be ok and able to re-enter Dubai or should I just send her back to the Phillipines?

1618
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 06 September 2014 - 20:57
Personally if she wants to go to Kish then I'd send her to Kish. Your legal responsibility ends the minute her visa is cancelled and she's gone through immigration. If she wants to risk getting stuck there then again her responsibility she's an adult. I wouldn't keep her for the month either as she is giving you more stress I would say fine, you want to go to Kish you can go today here is your ticket, cancelled visa and any money I owe you . Good luck and drive her to the airport. You don't need the hassle and stress of her sulking about. <em>edited by starsouthern on 06/09/2014</em>
5334
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 September 2014 - 20:28
to be honest, i would put her on the next flight - she is likely to do a runner if she doesn't want to go back to Philippines.
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 September 2014 - 20:17
No wonder you are stressed MMM, moving country is a nightmare :) She clearly has a plan. As long as you fulfill your contractual obligations as her sponsor and are honest with any possible new employers then you don't need to approve of her plan. It's her life, you can't live it for her. This probably sounds uncharitable but I suspect that she is rather enjoying causing a bit of drama and making you jump through hoops. While she is still employed by you and being payed by you it is her job to help you. Get her packing, sorting and cleaning and ignore her games.
5452
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 September 2014 - 20:15
What kind of reference would you give to a prospective hiring sponsor? Throughout your posts, you haven't painted your maid in the best light. You even wrote once that you are being nice about her. Is anyone reading this interested in hiring her?
173
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 September 2014 - 20:03
Thank you ladies for all your advice, I can't begin to tell you how helpful you have all been. I sat my maid down this evening and told her that Kish is not an option. I know it sounds awful, but I just have too much to think about and I am so, SO stressed at the moment that I simply can't deal with that as well. I have told her she has a month to find another job and if that doesn't happen she will be on the first flight back home. She got a bit funny with me, but I stood my ground. I told her (again) that I would do everything I could to help her find another job (the right job/employer - ie no kids). Again, she seemed so disinterested......... am I missing something here????!!!! I am all too happy to help her find a new job but it's almost as if she has 'something else up her sleeve'. I would just like to add that she is desperate to stay here and does NOT want to go home.
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 15:18
I have offered to help her find another job but she said she doesn't need my help. edited by MollyMooMoo on 05/09/2014 In light of this I think you are over thinking things. At the end of the day she is a grown woman who is perfectly capable of making her own decisions and obviously has been doing so for decades. She's not a naive young girl you need to look out for. I would sit down with her and tell her what you have been told about Kish on here. Tell her the exact date her contract ends and tell her that on that day (or a few days earlier if another day suits you better) one of three things will happen. 1) She will have found a new job and her new employers will have started the visa process so you can cancel her visa and you are no longer responsible for her. 2) You will take her to the airport and cancel her visa and she will return to the Philippines on a one way ticket. 3) You will take her to the airport and cancel her visa and she will go to Kish on an open return ticket. Once she leaves you will be no longer responsible for her and you will not be able to help if things don't go to plan in Kish. It will be more expensive to book a flight on the day if it comes to that but at least it will be resolved. If no flights are available she will still need to exit through immigration and wait on standby until a flight comes up. If it comes to that it's the price she pays for not getting organised. She says she doesn't need your help so take her at her word on that. Tell her that cancelling her contract with you and her end date is non negotiable. You won't give her extra days to sort it out past the date you have given her. Don't give it any more thought and get on the the huge task of relocating and worrying about your own family. Provide her with an honest reference if she asks for one.
588
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 12:49
It sounds like the miad does not actually have the will/resolve/interest to find and work in another job, perhaps she feels old and tired and fed up of it all, but she has either not realised it or is in denial. Instead of briskly going about securing future steady employment she has instead set upon you an impossible task and possibly (subconsciously) wants it to fall through, so that she can go back home and tell herself or her family that she wanted another job but madam wouldnt help her.
260
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 12:32
So your maid is in a similar situation to you, except that you also have to deal with relocating 3 young kids, 3 dogs, 2 cats and 1 moody husband & furniture and one unhappy maid? It's not ideal for either of you and I doubt you have the time or inclination to wade through the legalities and paperwork of Kish because your maid doesn't want to go back to her home country (which she did actually agree to when signing her employment contract in the event that she had not found another job to go to). I would stick to the letter of your contract with her and send her home as agreed. What happens if she goes to Kish, reenters on a tourist visa and still doesn't find a job and ends up either stranded without the money for a ticket home or starts working illegally? Could there be any ramifications for you then, even though you've left the country? If she's keen to stay here there are plenty of maid agencies here she could approach as well as people looking for maids, particularly at this time of year. There are other countries which take maids from the Phillippines, so not having a job here doesn't mean she can't continue to support her family as a maid. If you're supportive in helping her find another job here and then you have no reason to feel guilty about the prospect of her going back to her home country when she doesn't want to. After all, it's happening to your family too... Good luck.
173
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 12:22
Anondubai - I care because she is an honest and kind person and I feel I should help her. Yes, she has not been the best maid but she may be a better one to a less hectic household. She is in her late 50's now and slowing down abit (her words not mine) so has told me she would prefer to work for a couple without kids. She didn't work well in our house, but it doesn't mean she won't in another. Businessbay - I have offered to help her find another job but she said she doesn't need my help. I really don't think she is trying hard enough though as even now (and we are a month away from her contract ending) she says she has 'plenty of time' left to find a job. OMG if that was me I would be stressing out so much but she is not - she is as calm as a cucumber. Oh lord, the Kish thing seems to be getting way too complicated. She told me it was straight forward; we cancel her visa and send her to Kish, she flies back here a day or two later on a tourist visa. Ilovechoos - when I tell her it's going to cost her approx 2,000 plus and a longer stay in Kish, I think she's going to change her mind. Actually maybe this will kick her up the butt in finding a job. Thank you Daza for your helpful posts too - I have though, completey gone off the Kish idea now. Oh, what to do, what to do.......... <em>edited by MollyMooMoo on 05/09/2014</em>
495
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 12:09
I agree, Daza. Why do you even care, OP? I think that we've all had it with lazy maids and it is really unfair of you to think that she should work for another family. Expats pay a lot to sponsor maids and they need good workers! Its just as easy to send to her Kish, than to send her to the Phillipines.. once you know the laws. Is it really worth Molly Moo Moo feeling awful and guilty because she's sent this woman back to the Phillipines against her will.. She wants to go to Kish, send her to Kish. Say goodbye and good luck. Your done. I really cant understand the venom directed at Maids, they are women too - maybe uneducated and not what we had hoped but they are still Mothers and Wives. LOOOL - when this is read aloud it is hilarious! I hear the words with the tone they are intended to be delivered with, and your sincere tone is hilarious when the OPs nick (missy moo moo LOL) is heard.
18
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 11:00
Gosh, sorry you're going through all the upheaval, and hope the move to Ireland goes well. I don't understand this situation from the maid's point of view. From what you say, she has a month left with you. She could use this month to find a job. Surely that would be better than this whole rigmarole of Kish, money, visas, risk, etc? Even if you agreed to send her to Kish, and there was no risk of her being stranded, she would be much much better off starting a new job instead of sitting in Kish spending her money- and then sitting around here for 30 days on a tourist visa, again, not earning any money. We've used the (very helpful) classifieds here to find help. In my experience, job hunting/finding for domestic help only needs to take a couple of days- there isn't the whole wait-for-months-for-job-offers-to-come-through, etc, that you find in other sectors. Plus, even though she might not have a good attitude, she will have learned valuable skills from working with your family, so many families might be interested in hiring her rather than someone with no experience. Perhaps you could advise her to put up an ad? (Apologies if I've missed something.)
277
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 10:52
I agree, Daza. Why do you even care, OP? I think that we've all had it with lazy maids and it is really unfair of you to think that she should work for another family. Expats pay a lot to sponsor maids and they need good workers! Its just as easy to send to her Kish, than to send her to the Phillipines.. once you know the laws. Is it really worth Molly Moo Moo feeling awful and guilty because she's sent this woman back to the Phillipines against her will.. She wants to go to Kish, send her to Kish. Say goodbye and good luck. Your done. I really cant understand the venom directed at Maids, they are women too - maybe uneducated and not what we had hoped but they are still Mothers and Wives.
277
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 10:37
So my question is, can a maid fly to Kish and re-enter Dubai on a tourist visa WITHOUT a new sponsor - is it possible? No, she can't. Yes she can! It is very possible, She can ask a friend to go to one of the many travel agencies in Satwa and they will organize a visa for her. She will pay a deposit to them and they will sort it out. They will return her deposit when she either leaves the country or changes her residency status. Please warn her however that its going to be possibly a month wait in Kish and the tourist visa will cost her a couple of thousand. She's going to need some funds if she wants to stay in Dubai/return to Dubai. Molly Moo Moo - sorry you are dealing with this especially when your so busy. Give her what you owe her payment wise and tell her that she's on her own now if she decides to go to Kish. Ifs she's unsure about Tourist visa/ Visa info tell her to get to Satwa and talk with a Travel Agent there. Its totally not your responsibility, your doing enough as it is.
5452
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 10:33
I agree, Daza. Why do you even care, OP? I think that we've all had it with lazy maids and it is really unfair of you to think that she should work for another family. Expats pay a lot to sponsor maids and they need good workers!
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 10:23
Just to add, it's nice that you are trying to help this lady but you really shouldn't feel obliged to. In any job if someone had only been there a short while and been a less than satisfactory employee their boss wouldn't spend their own time and money helping them find a new job. For a good employee yes, especially a long standing one but in your situation no.
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 10:15
I'm not an immigration lawyer so this is just my understanding rather than fact but I having just done the process I think she has two options for re-entering via Kish. A) She can re-enter with an employment visa, for this option she will need a new sponsor who will have to provide her with the necessary documents before she leaves. B) She can re-enter with a tourist visa. For this she will need a relative living in Dubai who has sponsored her tourist visa. This will need to be obtained before she leaves. ETA - she can't risk leaving before this is approved in case it is turned down, if this happened and she was there she would be stuck. If she doesn't have either an employment or a tourist visa she will be unable to enter the UAE and would either be stuck there or fly home. She can't just fly to Kish and sort things out from there. She must have her paperwork in order before going or she will be stuck. An maid agency isn't an option right now due to the ban. <em>edited by Daza on 05/09/2014</em>
2287
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 10:05
So my question is, can a maid fly to Kish and re-enter Dubai on a tourist visa WITHOUT a new sponsor - is it possible? No, she can't.
173
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 09:55
Thank you all so much for your replies. Sanddy_Dogg this is my worry, what if she is not able to get a tourist visa and come back to Dubai? Then she will be stuck in Kish and although she will no longer be our responsibility, I will feel duty-bound to help her. This is the kind of drama I want to avoid. So my question is, can a maid fly to Kish and re-enter Dubai on a tourist visa WITHOUT a new sponsor - is it possible?
5499
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 09:11
Getting a tourist visa for a Filipina will require a sponsor and money still, won't it?
474
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 07:29
Kish is fine as long as she has managed to get herself a tourist visa first and knows that you won't be available to help her if things go badly.
1042
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 01:28
From a legal point of view Kish is fine. Our Maid's former Employer was leaving the UAE and there was a delay with my visa, hence we couldn't process hers so she went to Kish to wait. Her former a Employer had no issues cancelling visas and leaving the UAE. I don't think Oman is an option however. From a personal point of view Kish is not nice and many maids get stuck there. We sent our maid with a food package and plenty of cash but it was still no picnic for her. You may need to strongly advise your maid of this before making such a decision.
228
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 00:11
I recommend that you check with the Immigration. I'm sure that your maid can find a job very quickly if she takes the time to look for one. My former housemaid was not good at all. When her new employers asked us what we think about her; we told them that she doesn't have a good attitude and that if you do not check what she is doing, she will not work but they were happy to hire her. So, I think that yours has good chances to find a job too. People are so desperate to find one that they are ready to accept any person. Take the decision that is the most convenient for you and your family but you would need to get everything sorted before you leave the country so that you can get back your deposit. Once you leave the country it becomes difficult. Good luck.
277
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 September 2014 - 23:54
She will be your responsibility until she either has found a new sponsor or is on a flight home. Sending her to Kish or Oman will not absolve you from your responsibility so be careful with that. I agree with Lolacat, you have enough to worry about and you don't need her drama to add. Thats not true, she is only your responsibility until her visa is cancelled by you and she has an exit stamp in her passport.... once that happens your finished with her no matter where she flys out to. It does not matter where the flight is to!! Sending her to Kish is a great idea, it means she's off your responsibility and she can have some control as to what she does next. She's right, if you send her to the Phillipines now she will not be able to come back here and work which is potentially devastating for her family. <em>edited by Ilovechoos on 04/09/2014</em>
Anonymous (not verified)
0
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 September 2014 - 22:58
She will be your responsibility until she either has found a new sponsor or is on a flight home. Sending her to Kish or Oman will not absolve you from your responsibility so be careful with that. I agree with Lolacat, you have enough to worry about and you don't need her drama to add.
173
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 September 2014 - 22:52
Thanks for your replies. Is Oman or Kish an option though? I am happy to pay for her return flight to either place, as long as her visa is cancelled and she is no longer our responsiblity.
1848
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 September 2014 - 22:21
Do you really want to curse another family with a lazy maid? Send her home.
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 04 September 2014 - 21:40
Totally agree with Lola. If she actually wants to provide a better life and education for her children she will get her act together and get another job, there are so many available due to the ban. If she can't be bothered you can't be responsible for that, you have enough on your plate.
173
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 September 2014 - 21:13
Lolacat thank you for such a prompt response. She has not been the best maid - its been a bit of a nightmare actually for the past year, however, I do not believe she is a bad person, just a bit lazy and disinterested in her job (trying to be nice here). She has 4 sons (3 living, one died) and she is trying to provide for a better education/life for them. As a mother myself, I can understand that so sending her back home would make me feel so guilty, especially if she couldn't return back here. My husband says I am a 'pushover'???!!
2738
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 September 2014 - 20:48
MMM, this is absolute nonsense which you do not need, don't allow yourself to be dragged down the emotional blackmail line because you are exhausted. She is taking advantage. She finds a job or she is home, it's simple and her problem not yours. There are hundreds of jobs available for her, she needs to get off her backside and find one. Alternatively suggest she goes and works for an agency for a while, some of them are run well and their staff are paid well, Homesafe is one, there are more. The last thing you need is this being a problem for you, tell her straight and stick to it, you are not being mean at all.
 
 

ON EXPATWOMAN TODAY