'Not Sorry'

Wow! I almost died last year and was on A LOT of prednisone for A LONG time and I swelled up to 89kgs. I normally weigh 44-49kgs so this was a major change for me and not one I knew how to deal with. (I have health issues that keep me thin normally). What I experienced was a world I had never experienced before. It was a mean, unkind, down right nasty at times world. I had never been exposed to the way people treat those they deem to be "less than" what they think a person should be. My face was grossly swollen up due to a condition called Cushing's and had what they call the Moon Effect. I was no longer "pretty" as my cheek bones were't chiseled and my features did't pop anymore. When I did venture out people pointed, stared, laughed and just made me want to crawl under the rug and hide. I was dying and yet all people saw was my swollen state and big size. I am doing better now and down to 56kgs and feeling great. I just moved here 1 week ago and most people that know me are in awe that last year I was in the hospital and in BAD shape and now I am here and doing great. Lucky for me I did not accept the nasty way people were treating me when I was sick as my reality. If I had, I probably wouldn't be where I am right now. What I did was make myself much more aware of what is really going on in the world around me. We need to become a better society where we don't tear ourselves or anyone else down but we instead boost ourselves and others up. I have had many abdominal surgeries due to health issues and I belong to a movement called "Get your belly out" which promotes people showing off and being proud of their bellies no matter what GI issues they may have. No longer should we hide and be afraid to go out because some one might say or do something. This is LIFE and we need each other to get through it. We can make it a much better life if we are a more accepting, loving society that realizes there is so much more to a person than what meets the eye. Big or small the bottom line is it was always just me!

Well going off slightly, in a world where people put themselves under global scrutiny - never mind the media - through facebook, instagram, blogs etc people are far more self conscious these days, and others are far more critical of each other because of it.

If we could all mind our own business and stop commenting on how other people look I think we'd all be happier... There may be a junk food revolution but all I see is a craze for health and fitness..And mums obsessing about their kids eating healthily.. Personally I'm grossly overweight and have been for years but I refuse to lose any sleep over it..life's too short to stuff a mushroom... Yes please, who seriously cares about what others look like? "Hey world, I'm [fit, strong, curvy, fat etc'> and I'm proud and beautiful!" If the message is truly "acceptance" rather than "look at me" then my opinion is = quit talking about the outside, full stop. Talk about what's inside if that's the point. I truly don't care what others think of my appearance. (it took a while to get there and has not always been this way). Nor do I care about other people's appearance or choice of lifestyle in respect to fitness or eating. What I find weird is when other people tell me in essence they don't like the way I look. Or that I look better now than before, what they prefer, etc. Am I supposed to care and feel good that I meet their expectations? They must think highly of their own opinion. Am I supposed to feel bad when they put me down? They must think very lowly of themselves. That might sound b!tchy but think about it. For what purpose do people say things? In full disclosure, I am purposely losing weight right now. I have my reasons. Unfortunately even after a couple of kilos only, I am hearing what other people think about it. It's not all negative feedback but the point is I don't care either way. I think all this media attention on shapes and sizes fuels even more people to speak up and stick their nose in other people's business. The culture is shifting in the direction of a very nosy and outspoken one. Yuck!

wow !! why would you even think in those terms ? You saw a woman and you thought she was "ugly" ?? Why is it even in question ? People are people, why would you need to decide whether they are ugly or beautiful ? Have you never seen an ugly woman or man? It doesn't make them a bad person, but not everyone is easy on the eye. Yes, but there's what you would call "ugly" and what you would call overweight and badly dressed. Not the same thing in my opinion. The poster never said the woman was either overweight or badly dressed. I think Doubting Thomas was commenting on Adventure B's post. Nothing mentioned on being overweight or badly dressed. Oooops missed that one. I thought we were still talking about size

wow !! why would you even think in those terms ? You saw a woman and you thought she was "ugly" ?? Why is it even in question ? People are people, why would you need to decide whether they are ugly or beautiful ? Have you never seen an ugly woman or man? It doesn't make them a bad person, but not everyone is easy on the eye. Yes, but there's what you would call "ugly" and what you would call overweight and badly dressed. Not the same thing in my opinion. The poster never said the woman was either overweight or badly dressed. I think Doubting Thomas was commenting on Adventure B's post. Nothing mentioned on being overweight or badly dressed.

wow !! why would you even think in those terms ? You saw a woman and you thought she was "ugly" ?? Why is it even in question ? People are people, why would you need to decide whether they are ugly or beautiful ? Have you never seen an ugly woman or man? It doesn't make them a bad person, but not everyone is easy on the eye. Yes, but there's what you would call "ugly" and what you would call overweight and badly dressed. Not the same thing in my opinion.

wow !! why would you even think in those terms ? You saw a woman and you thought she was "ugly" ?? Why is it even in question ? People are people, why would you need to decide whether they are ugly or beautiful ? Have you never seen an ugly woman or man? It doesn't make them a bad person, but not everyone is easy on the eye.

wow !! why would you even think in those terms ? You saw a woman and you thought she was "ugly" ?? Why is it even in question ? People are people, why would you need to decide whether they are ugly or beautiful ?

I love your comment, AdventurerB! And I've had exactly the same experience in the past 5 years of living in the Middle East. I think media is taking its toll on the current generation unfortunately, but for the most part every woman knows that she is inherently attractive and can put herself together beautifully. Much less shame and self-consciousness.

This kind of thread makes me happy and sad in equal measure. I am always saddened to see how much women "police" other women. What we can wear, at what age, and at what size. How we should behave, it seems to go on and on. My husband says men are nowhere near as catty about other guys and also wouldn't be interested in a thread like this. On the other hand I also see the comments about weight gain during menopause and feel glad that at least we talk. I'm not sure if one goes hand in hand with the other. Either way surely we on here are adults and can live with our choices. I doubt any of us would advocate anorexia and obesity is promoted during education for our own little girls (or boys). Healthy lifestyles being promoted in schools and in the media is needed as the default seems to have become the sofa and the i-Pad?

If we could all mind our own business and stop commenting on how other people look I think we'd all be happier... There may be a junk food revolution but all I see is a craze for health and fitness..And mums obsessing about their kids eating healthily.. Personally I'm grossly overweight and have been for years but I refuse to lose any sleep over it..life's too short to stuff a mushroom... Exactly DT . What has happened to good old common sense. I too have put on weight going through menapause, but it's a case of managing so much that you do the best you can. If it worries others that just too bad , I eat a balanced diet don't deny myself those odd treats and to blazes with the rest. Nomad could I please be nosy and ask where you put the weight on during menopause. Mine has steadily been creeping up for the same reason, but suddenly my waist has just disappeared :( Not nosey at all ! Yep, round the waist and a bit above, have a muffin top for the first time in my life....... I am extremely active all day long but it is really stubborn so I just go with the flow. I am on a alternative natural hormone plan ( don't support the cruel practices associated with conventional HRT ). Have been on it for 10years but recent blood work suggests I still need my meds. Hoping that one day when I come off the extra pounds will " melt away " but not holding my breath :biggrin: Sounds exactly like me. I've also got the muffin top :( I've been taking soy isoflavones for a few months now and they seem to be helping with the symptoms, but being here and not so active doesn't help. I don't ever remember my Mum being like this, her shape never changed, so I obviously don't take after her. She didn't suffer anything either mind. I'm with you in the hope that it all fades away eventually :)

If we could all mind our own business and stop commenting on how other people look I think we'd all be happier... There may be a junk food revolution but all I see is a craze for health and fitness..And mums obsessing about their kids eating healthily.. Personally I'm grossly overweight and have been for years but I refuse to lose any sleep over it..life's too short to stuff a mushroom... Exactly DT . What has happened to good old common sense. I too have put on weight going through menapause, but it's a case of managing so much that you do the best you can. If it worries others that just too bad , I eat a balanced diet don't deny myself those odd treats and to blazes with the rest. Nomad could I please be nosy and ask where you put the weight on during menopause. Mine has steadily been creeping up for the same reason, but suddenly my waist has just disappeared :( Not nosey at all ! Yep, round the waist and a bit above, have a muffin top for the first time in my life....... I am extremely active all day long but it is really stubborn so I just go with the flow. I am on a alternative natural hormone plan ( don't support the cruel practices associated with conventional HRT ). Have been on it for 10years but recent blood work suggests I still need my meds. Hoping that one day when I come off the extra pounds will " melt away " but not holding my breath :biggrin:

If we could all mind our own business and stop commenting on how other people look I think we'd all be happier... There may be a junk food revolution but all I see is a craze for health and fitness..And mums obsessing about their kids eating healthily.. Personally I'm grossly overweight and have been for years but I refuse to lose any sleep over it..life's too short to stuff a mushroom... Exactly DT . What has happened to good old common sense. I too have put on weight going through menapause, but it's a case of managing so much that you do the best you can. If it worries others that just too bad , I eat a balanced diet don't deny myself those odd treats and to blazes with the rest. Nomad could I please be nosy and ask where you put the weight on during menopause. Mine has steadily been creeping up for the same reason, but suddenly my waist has just disappeared :(

If we could all mind our own business and stop commenting on how other people look I think we'd all be happier... There may be a junk food revolution but all I see is a craze for health and fitness..And mums obsessing about their kids eating healthily.. Personally I'm grossly overweight and have been for years but I refuse to lose any sleep over it..life's too short to stuff a mushroom... Exactly DT . What has happened to good old common sense. I too have put on weight going through menapause, but it's a case of managing so much that you do the best you can. If it worries others that just too bad , I eat a balanced diet don't deny myself those odd treats and to blazes with the rest.

If we could all mind our own business and stop commenting on how other people look I think we'd all be happier... There may be a junk food revolution but all I see is a craze for health and fitness..And mums obsessing about their kids eating healthily.. Personally I'm grossly overweight and have been for years but I refuse to lose any sleep over it..life's too short to stuff a mushroom...

I don't think we should accept the 'junk food revolution' at all! This promotes being unhealthy and I would strongly disagree that people are becoming more accepting of it - when chains like McD's are closing 100's of outlets across the US - people are in fact shunning the fast food culture. Having curves is fine, but I don't think being too curvacious to the point of being unhealthy should be encouraged, nor celebrated. Even though McDonald's are closing; new more sophisticated fast food outlets are opening up; like in Dubai there is Sheikh Shack for example. There was a celebrity in the UK that said, obese people should feel uncomfortable and not be able to buy nice clothes in any high street shop, as they feel they are normal when they can fit into nice clothes. I think it's far too easy and acceptable to be overweight in countries like the UK. Curvy is used a lot for obese people. Curvy shouldn't be the same as being fat. I don't think the woman in the article looks healthy, she looks a bit overweight, so not really a good role model. I have to disagree with you. I am already my ideal weight of being healthy.... But despite losing 15kgs, my busy size is still 36D .... Despite walking, eating healthy my bump is still 38, my waist is however 27 and this is the lowest I could every have because of my bone structure. Due to my "curves" I still am unable to fit into normal sizes, because small is "too small" for my busy and medium is very lose for my waist. I wear whatever fits on my bust and Due to this, I still look chubby or fat, when I am not. No matter how hard I try I always struggled to lose fat deposits from these parts. I am fit and have a strong stamina, it's kind of weird when ppl still call me "big" when I am not. I forgot to tell, I am just 155 cm. I am happy the way I am... Still trying to lose some more just to be more healthier. I don't know if I explained what I meant well. Smartee, it sounds like you are curvy in a healthy way; which is great! I criticised that curvy is being used, when someone is clearly obese and people are making it acceptable or even glamorising obesity, by saying that the person is curvy, instead of obese.

I don't think we should accept the 'junk food revolution' at all! This promotes being unhealthy and I would strongly disagree that people are becoming more accepting of it - when chains like McD's are closing 100's of outlets across the US - people are in fact shunning the fast food culture. Having curves is fine, but I don't think being too curvacious to the point of being unhealthy should be encouraged, nor celebrated. Even though McDonald's are closing; new more sophisticated fast food outlets are opening up; like in Dubai there is Sheikh Shack for example. There was a celebrity in the UK that said, obese people should feel uncomfortable and not be able to buy nice clothes in any high street shop, as they feel they are normal when they can fit into nice clothes. I think it's far too easy and acceptable to be overweight in countries like the UK. Curvy is used a lot for obese people. Curvy shouldn't be the same as being fat. I don't think the woman in the article looks healthy, she looks a bit overweight, so not really a good role model. I have to disagree with you. I am already my ideal weight of being healthy.... But despite losing 15kgs, my busy size is still 36D .... Despite walking, eating healthy my bump is still 38, my waist is however 27 and this is the lowest I could every have because of my bone structure. Due to my "curves" I still am unable to fit into normal sizes, because small is "too small" for my busy and medium is very lose for my waist. I wear whatever fits on my bust and Due to this, I still look chubby or fat, when I am not. No matter how hard I try I always struggled to lose fat deposits from these parts. I am fit and have a strong stamina, it's kind of weird when ppl still call me "big" when I am not. I forgot to tell, I am just 155 cm. I am happy the way I am... Still trying to lose some more just to be more healthier.

I don't think we should accept the 'junk food revolution' at all! This promotes being unhealthy and I would strongly disagree that people are becoming more accepting of it - when chains like McD's are closing 100's of outlets across the US - people are in fact shunning the fast food culture. Having curves is fine, but I don't think being too curvacious to the point of being unhealthy should be encouraged, nor celebrated. Even though McDonald's are closing; new more sophisticated fast food outlets are opening up; like in Dubai there is Sheikh Shack for example. There was a celebrity in the UK that said, obese people should feel uncomfortable and not be able to buy nice clothes in any high street shop, as they feel they are normal when they can fit into nice clothes. I think it's far too easy and acceptable to be overweight in countries like the UK. Curvy is used a lot for obese people. Curvy shouldn't be the same as being fat. I don't think the woman in the article looks healthy, she looks a bit overweight, so not really a good role model.

I don't think we should accept the 'junk food revolution' at all! This promotes being unhealthy and I would strongly disagree that people are becoming more accepting of it - when chains like McD's are closing 100's of outlets across the US - people are in fact shunning the fast food culture. Having curves is fine, but I don't think being too curvacious to the point of being unhealthy should be encouraged, nor celebrated.

There is nothing wrong with any size, unless it is unhealthy - obese is a problem, not something that should be celebrated. Same as ultra skinny is unhealthy and should not be glamourised

I'm all for women being happy and confident with their bodies but there also needs to be an emphasis on health and wellbeing. Unrealistic images of superskinny and airbrushed models are not acceptable and put unnecessary pressure on many women, we need to realize that normal women have curves and flaws. However, some of the plus size campaigns can tip the scales in the opposite direction and say that being overweight is acceptable. Instead of looking at size we should look at health and healthy lifestyles. Today's fast food diet and the volume of sugar being consumed is not good for anybodies health. there needs to be more emphasis on healthy, balanced eating and lifestyle.

I think there's a move generally towards all things a bit bigger. The fast food revolution is really hitting Europe now the way it did America before and clothes just seem to be getting bigger but vanity sizing means we are fooled into thinking we are 'still a size x' when if you compared that size to the same size 15 years ago there would be a huge difference. There's much more acceptance of bigger sizes now and people are encouraged to embrace the curves etc. There's nothing wrong with being happy with the way you are and embracing your curves, and good on her for accepting that she is happy with her body but I think it's all part of the junk food/fast food/unhealthy revolution that is making us all just bigger and the social movement that is going along with it to just accept it. Vanity sizing!!!! Oh gosh...I'd never heard of that at all. That has not made me happy at all :( I hadn't realised that was "a thing"... Time to find an old outfit in the back of the cupboard for a reality check!

I think there's a move generally towards all things a bit bigger. The fast food revolution is really hitting Europe now the way it did America before and clothes just seem to be getting bigger but vanity sizing means we are fooled into thinking we are 'still a size x' when if you compared that size to the same size 15 years ago there would be a huge difference. There's much more acceptance of bigger sizes now and people are encouraged to embrace the curves etc. There's nothing wrong with being happy with the way you are and embracing your curves, and good on her for accepting that she is happy with her body but I think it's all part of the junk food/fast food/unhealthy revolution that is making us all just bigger and the social movement that is going along with it to just accept it.

Well it's a good way to bring a reality check to many people. Skinny, is not the norm, nor is it healthy either and the majority of women can't achieve, and shouldn't want to look like the scrawny models you see - sadly many fashion houses are still stuck on the 'Heroin chic' look. Another movement that's going against the grain is the 'Strong not Skinny' one. Women with muscles, who lift weights, workout like trojans and are proud of their 'guns' and 6 packs.