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How old is too old to use the ladies toilet?!

63

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 10:25

I read an article today in 7Days about children's toilet facilities where a mum mentioned she got dirty looks because she'd taken her 9 year old son into the ladies bathroom. She said she was too scared to let him go to the men's toilet alone. It got me thinking about how old is too old to take a boy into the ladies? I don't have children so I can't comment. I'm just genuinely interested for future reference!

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IzzyOnTheSeat82823

5334

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 30 June 2014 - 11:24

My special needs boy is 16 Personally, taking into account the region, this is too old to take into the ladies loo. There are women there that cover and maybe rearranging their scraves etc.

1443

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 30 June 2014 - 11:16

My special needs boy is 16 and I take him with me to the ladies toilet when his dad or his brother is not around. He does look like a 12 year old and only 'special needs' when you take a closer look. We are in and out very quickly and after 7 years in the Middle East I only got a protest once from a security guy in a mall. Most ladies in the restroom do not have any issue with him being there and I feel that the women/moms in the ladies toilet totally understand why I have to take him there. I cannot understand the people on this forum are having harsh opinions about what and what age should be appropriate for boys to use the restrooms with their mom! There is no general age to determine what is right and what is not, it is very depending on the situation! I never had issues either, took my eldest son until he was 11/12.

26

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 30 June 2014 - 01:25

My special needs boy is 16 and I take him with me to the ladies toilet when his dad or his brother is not around. He does look like a 12 year old and only 'special needs' when you take a closer look. We are in and out very quickly and after 7 years in the Middle East I only got a protest once from a security guy in a mall. Most ladies in the restroom do not have any issue with him being there and I feel that the women/moms in the ladies toilet totally understand why I have to take him there. I cannot understand the people on this forum are having harsh opinions about what and what age should be appropriate for boys to use the restrooms with their mom! There is no general age to determine what is right and what is not, it is very depending on the situation!

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 26 June 2014 - 11:30

I think the best solution is what a previous poster linked to. Bathrooms for children where parents can easily accompany them, especially the fathers who now can't take their young daughters to the toilet. And again, until a boy reaches puberty, he should be able to come in with his mom.

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 26 June 2014 - 11:27

I do agree that things are very different in the likes of Dubai/Qatar with regards to police checking. It's stringent in the UK and I'm involved in carrying out disclosure checks on new leaders in Guiding in my capacity as District Commissioner. Many public loos in places like shopping centres have attendants hovering between the male and female toilets and it is normal practice to see young children coming into the loos while dad stands outside. Someone asked if my DS grew up in the ME and the answer is no as we only spent 2 years in Qatar and our children were adults. I'm not sure I would have been happy to send my very young DS into a public loo alone in Qatar have to say! Having lived in Scotland all my life and never had any personal attacks on me bar one minor incident when I was about 16, I was shocked to be assaulted in the souq carpark with my DH just a few feet away!! Anyhow, it should also be remembered that child abuse is and always has been a real problem in the UK BUT, in most cases, the perpetrator is known to the child or family.

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 26 June 2014 - 08:49

Yes, I do agree with you, Silvstet. There is no offender registry here nor screening of employees who work with children and sometimes I wonder what kind of people are responsible for our children. I know that my children are never alone with any adult during the time that they are not with me, and I hope that that is enough. I also try to remind myself that bad things happen to children by carers all the time in my country (the USA) where they do have criminal checks before hiring plus offender registries.. In the USA, you can't even be a parent helper without going through a criminal check... Totally agree, and I also find it odd here that play outlets in the malls where under 5's are left alone while parents shop have male attendants, I was about to take DD's LO to the play zone in our mall and saw a male attendant handling a little girl inappropriately while lifting her up on to play equipment. I did an abrupt about turn, even though I was not going to leave here there alone. I would never leave my child alone in a play area, not so much because of the male attendants but because of the ubiquitous unaccompanied rough older boys who are too old to be there anyway...

4000

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 26 June 2014 - 08:35

Yes, I do agree with you, Silvstet. There is no offender registry here nor screening of employees who work with children and sometimes I wonder what kind of people are responsible for our children. I know that my children are never alone with any adult during the time that they are not with me, and I hope that that is enough. I also try to remind myself that bad things happen to children by carers all the time in my country (the USA) where they do have criminal checks before hiring plus offender registries.. In the USA, you can't even be a parent helper without going through a criminal check... Totally agree, and I also find it odd here that play outlets in the malls where under 5's are left alone while parents shop have male attendants, I was about to take DD's LO to the play zone in our mall and saw a male attendant handling a little girl inappropriately while lifting her up on to play equipment. I did an abrupt about turn, even though I was not going to leave her there alone. <em>edited by Di@DXB on 26/06/2014</em>

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 26 June 2014 - 08:24

Yes, I do agree with you, Silvstet. There is no offender registry here nor screening of employees who work with children and sometimes I wonder what kind of people are responsible for our children. I know that my children are never alone with any adult during the time that they are not with me, and I hope that that is enough. I also try to remind myself that bad things happen to children by carers all the time in my country (the USA) where they do have criminal checks before hiring plus offender registries.. In the USA, you can't even be a parent helper without going through a criminal check...

1601

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 23:01

13 is too old, at that age they should be able to defend themselves. The age issue aside, the physical ability to defend yourself does not mean you won't fall victim to an attack. A girl I went to school with was raped, in a public place when she was 15. She was a junior karate champion and well equipped to defend herself. She had a knife pressed to her throat and was too scared to move a muscle or call out to any passerbys who would have heard her. It really does s3x attack victims a dis-service to suggest that they should have been able to defend themselves :( Yes I know what you mean, but you have to put a limit somewhere. There are 30-40 years old out there being raped, but they can't go to a wrong gender toilet because of that. I've been sexually assaulted myself and its unfortunately many times potluck. I'm praying that it will not happen to anyone out there again, being realistic I know it does... edited by Silvstet on 25/06/2014 Silvstet I am so sorry you were assaulted and can't even imagine how you have managed to deal with it. As Joyce said I marched in with my boys until they flatly refused to set foot in the ladies around 8 years of age. Yes it was many years back but the dangers still existed. Our solution was I would stand outside the mens and keep on asking ' everything all right in there **** ' and they would answer back. Got some odd looks but what the heck. That said I would never judge a Mom who brings her pre adolescent son into the ladies.....as someone else said I have more of an issue with parents who let their little ones run wild banging on doors peeking under doors etc. <em>edited by Nomad on 25/06/2014</em>

1170

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 22:44

You are darn right Marroosh! These assaults have no relation to not getting any! It's all about power and dominating other and bending their will to the abuser, no more no less Like married men or men in relationships don't assault women. Men who do this are sick and there is no other reason for it. Offenders are from all walks of life, young and old, rich and poor, married or singles, men or women, yes there are women who are this type offenders, but not been talked about specially in the Middle East

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 22:29

You are darn right Marroosh! These assaults have no relation to not getting any! It's all about power and dominating other and bending their will to the abuser, no more no less Like married men or men in relationships don't assault women. Men who do this are sick and there is no other reason for it.

1170

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 22:21

You are darn right Marroosh! These assaults have no relation to not getting any! It's all about power and dominating other and bending their will to the abuser, no more no less

1170

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:53

More than a year ago, in a jumeirah restaurant a ten years old girl been rapped in ladies toilet by a cleaner went inside the ladies room. More than five years back a boy been killed in men's toilet in a mosque after the raspiest couldn't rap the boy by bashing the boys head into the wall. Couple of months back in an office a male colleague filmed his females colleagues in the office bathroom..... Should I go and fitch more?! I believe in Islam we have a rule states I case of urgency even haram is not punishable, الضرورات تبيح المحظورات . So I will accompany my boys inside ladies toilet as long as they are young and can't fend for themselves. Saying this; would this get me dirty looks? Sure and I am not looking to get applause from strangers, if this become punishable by law, sure that won't stop me from doing this. Nothing would stop me taking my boys into ladies toilet in any public place, not the dirty looks and even if it become against law. Protecting my little boys is not a bargain, and if a place like Dubai ladies club doesn't entertain little boys beyond 4, then this place is not in my visiting places. If a place doesn't entertain my children I don't even conceder it as a place. So judging posters who say self sufficient ..... Ahhhh! I'll just not post my thoughts! <em>edited by Gorobattie on 25/06/2014</em>

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:39

I've been sexually assaulted myself and its unfortunately many times potluck. I'm praying that it will not happen to anyone out there again, being realistic I know it does... edited by Silvstet on 25/06/2014 I'm sorry to hear that Silvstet. As you say, it is often potluck. That is why I don't let my children use public toilets alone. Why take the risk?

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:35

Yes I know what you mean, but you have to put a limit somewhere. There are 30-40 years old out there being raped, but they can't go to a wrong gender toilet because of that. Agreed, that why I said 'the age issue aside'. For me, a 13 year old (if gone through puberty) using the men's toilets is more to do with appropriateness rather than because he should be able to defend himself.

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:20

13 is too old, at that age they should be able to defend themselves. The age issue aside, the physical ability to defend yourself does not mean you won't fall victim to an attack. A girl I went to school with was raped, in a public place when she was 15. She was a junior karate champion and well equipped to defend herself. She had a knife pressed to her throat and was too scared to move a muscle or call out to any passerbys who would have heard her. It really does s3x attack victims a dis-service to suggest that they should have been able to defend themselves :(

4747

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:07

If I'm on my own, I take my 12 y/o disabled son into the ladies with me, in MOE there's a disabled toilet as you enter the ladies, so it's not a problem. Otherwise, I'll take him in with me. So far I've had a few looks, but ladies mostly understand my situation. I have no idea what I'll do as he gets older, as I'll never feel entirely safe letting him go into the mens alone.....he's far too vulnerable. When my older son was 11/12, I'd stand outside the mens toilets and I'd say to him that if he wasn't out within a given time, I'd shout his name out, and then go in. Thankfully it never came to that. My LO doesn't like coming into the ladies with me, he's 6, but he knows if he's with me, he has no choice. If his older brothers or cousins are with him, then he can go into the mens together and come out together. at least now a lot of places have disabled toilets and i would use them, but it doesnt help when they are actually in the cubicles better when they are located outside on their own. And in MOE they are sometimes used as the cleaners offices! and they park in blue disabled spaces.... without a permit... but have heard in dxb they are fitting sensors/cameras/wifi to alert the police.... thats good they should take note down in teh capital too

4747

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:06

If I'm on my own, I take my 12 y/o disabled son into the ladies with me, in MOE there's a disabled toilet as you enter the ladies, so it's not a problem. Otherwise, I'll take him in with me. So far I've had a few looks, but ladies mostly understand my situation. I have no idea what I'll do as he gets older, as I'll never feel entirely safe letting him go into the mens alone.....he's far too vulnerable. When my older son was 11/12, I'd stand outside the mens toilets and I'd say to him that if he wasn't out within a given time, I'd shout his name out, and then go in. Thankfully it never came to that. My LO doesn't like coming into the ladies with me, he's 6, but he knows if he's with me, he has no choice. If his older brothers or cousins are with him, then he can go into the mens together and come out together. at least now a lot of places have disabled toilets and i would use them, but it doesnt help when they are actually in the cubicles better when they are located outside on their own. And in MOE they are sometimes used as the cleaners offices! we have the same in auh too

4747

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:06

If I'm on my own, I take my 12 y/o disabled son into the ladies with me, in MOE there's a disabled toilet as you enter the ladies, so it's not a problem. Otherwise, I'll take him in with me. So far I've had a few looks, but ladies mostly understand my situation. I have no idea what I'll do as he gets older, as I'll never feel entirely safe letting him go into the mens alone.....he's far too vulnerable. When my older son was 11/12, I'd stand outside the mens toilets and I'd say to him that if he wasn't out within a given time, I'd shout his name out, and then go in. Thankfully it never came to that. My LO doesn't like coming into the ladies with me, he's 6, but he knows if he's with me, he has no choice. If his older brothers or cousins are with him, then he can go into the mens together and come out together. at least now a lot of places have disabled toilets and i would use them, but it doesnt help when they are actually in the cubicles better when they are located outside on their own. And in MOE they are sometimes used as the cleaners offices! then make them throw their stuff out if you "need to use it".

4747

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:04

13 is too old, at that age they should be able to defend themselves. yes 13 is too old unless there is a special reason

4747

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:03

If I'm on my own, I take my 12 y/o disabled son into the ladies with me, in MOE there's a disabled toilet as you enter the ladies, so it's not a problem. Otherwise, I'll take him in with me. So far I've had a few looks, but ladies mostly understand my situation. I have no idea what I'll do as he gets older, as I'll never feel entirely safe letting him go into the mens alone.....he's far too vulnerable. When my older son was 11/12, I'd stand outside the mens toilets and I'd say to him that if he wasn't out within a given time, I'd shout his name out, and then go in. Thankfully it never came to that. My LO doesn't like coming into the ladies with me, he's 6, but he knows if he's with me, he has no choice. If his older brothers or cousins are with him, then he can go into the mens together and come out together. at least now a lot of places have disabled toilets and i would use them, but it doesnt help when they are actually in the cubicles better when they are located outside on their own.

4747

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 21:02

Why would you feel uncomfortable? Before a child goes through puberty, they are just that, a child. I'm assuming you don't run around public toilets naked, why would you feel uncomfortable having a child see you wash your hands or apply your lipstick? well, follow your logic you can bring a man of any age, is not it? nothing wrong if he can see you washing hands. It's just so wrong! Boys must be taught to have respect to women from young age, including her privacy. Until a boy reaches puberty, by local custom and tradition he is allowed to see women uncovered. So by that logic he is allowed to enter a ladies toilet. That has nothing to do with teaching boys respect for women or her privacy as he has no concept of that! Plus, he is not going into the toilet with you is he? I am a covered woman and if a mother brings her 8 year old boy who has no concept of a woman's beauty, I have no issues with that. I have issues with women staring at me when I uncover and I don't know if she is going to tell her boyfriend/husband she saw a woman taking off her hijab and she looked like this (enter description). we had heard issues many times when a boy was only like 6 so really still young enough.. but it was the posh golf club and stupid women like 15 years ago in auh who obviously didnt like it... and complained.... it didnt help as that child had a medical issue that really needed his mum to help him with. and i am talking expats not locals.

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 19:09

I am a Muslim and am definitely not offended. If I was out alone with my DSs, I did not allow them to use the male restrooms until they fully reached puberty and had to. I think it is just a responsible thing to do as a mother. I do not allow my DD to go to the restroom alone now and she is nearly 10. There are such terrifying people out there doing unbelievable things that would scar any child, boy or girl, for life. It is not worth the risk.

605

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 19:09

If I'm on my own, I take my 12 y/o disabled son into the ladies with me, in MOE there's a disabled toilet as you enter the ladies, so it's not a problem. Otherwise, I'll take him in with me. So far I've had a few looks, but ladies mostly understand my situation. I have no idea what I'll do as he gets older, as I'll never feel entirely safe letting him go into the mens alone.....he's far too vulnerable. When my older son was 11/12, I'd stand outside the mens toilets and I'd say to him that if he wasn't out within a given time, I'd shout his name out, and then go in. Thankfully it never came to that. My LO doesn't like coming into the ladies with me, he's 6, but he knows if he's with me, he has no choice. If his older brothers or cousins are with him, then he can go into the mens together and come out together.

IzzyOnTheSeat82823

5334

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 17:10

i think 10......

4000

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 17:08

Would all of you please stop hovering around your children like a bunch if demented vultures. Instead, try teaching them to be self-sufficient. No wonder there are so many children wandering around without a lick of common sense. It's kind of difficult to acquire good instincts when your parents hover over you constantly in order to "keep you safe". I think you are confusing "self sufficiency" and safety, going by your theory it is necessary to expose a child to risk in order to teach him common sense? Sorry that does not make sense to me. Should we leave a young child alone on the edge of a roadway so he can be "self sufficient"?

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 17:05

Apologies to all the Muslim ladies on here, but lets just forget the cultural norm and say that it's normal to allow your young sons to go with you to the ladies, until YOU feel happy standing outside the gents while he's in there. Doesn't matter it he's 7 or 10, it's purely a personal decision only a mother can make. I am not a mother but I can understand a mother taking her son into the bathroom until he is a "man". There are 2 issues, the cultural and the personal. Why I mentioned the religious/cultural, is to show you simply can't offend anyone by taking in your 8 year old with you to use the bathroom. Mothers have their child's best interest and safety to care for so they should not be stopped because some might feel unnecessarily uncomfortable.

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 16:47

Would all of you please stop hovering around your children like a bunch if demented vultures. Instead, try teaching them to be self-sufficient. No wonder there are so many children wandering around without a lick of common sense. It's kind of difficult to acquire good instincts when your parents hover over you constantly in order to "keep you safe". If you think that common sense and good instincts will keep a child safe from a pedophile then not only do you not understand much about s3x predators, you don't understand much about children.

kimball 6521395

449

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 16:40

Would all of you please stop hovering around your children like a bunch if demented vultures. Instead, try teaching them to be self-sufficient. No wonder there are so many children wandering around without a lick of common sense. It's kind of difficult to acquire good instincts when your parents hover over you constantly in order to "keep you safe". You sound like a very caring mother!

681

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 25 June 2014 - 16:36

Would all of you please stop hovering around your children like a bunch if demented vultures. Instead, try teaching them to be self-sufficient. No wonder there are so many children wandering around without a lick of common sense. It's kind of difficult to acquire good instincts when your parents hover over you constantly in order to "keep you safe". Please tell me you are not actually Irish?

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Pictured: Flooded roads from the record-breaking storm that hit Dubai in April 2024.

Dubai Flood Risk to Be Cut Down by 700% With New Tunnel

8 Beauty Treatments in Dubai for busy moms

8 Beauty Treatments in Dubai: Self-Care Recommendations for Busy Moms

Mashreq NEO NXT Account | Why Kids and Teens Need Financial Education

Why Teens Need Real-World Financial Education?

E-scooters are no longer banned on the Dubai Metro stations and trains

RTA Finally Lifts E-Scooter Ban From Dubai Metro

Spa packages at Saray Spa in JW Marriott Marquis Hotel Dubai

Step Into the Ultimate Relaxation Bliss With Saray Spa's Pampering Packages

How to book Dubai taxi through WhatsApp

Booking Taxis in Dubai: How to Hail a Taxi Through WhatsApp

Experience Extended Stays and Special Savings at Le Meridien Al Aqah Beach Resort UAE

Soak Up the Summer With the Ultimate UAE Staycation Special

RTA Dubai flying taxi official launch date

Image credit: Joby Aviation.

RTA Finally Confirms Launch Date of Dubai's Flying Taxis

Region's first ever baseball park to open in the UAE

First-Ever Baseball Park in the Middle East Will Be Opening in the UAE

Are "own visa" Domestic Workers legal in the UAE?

Are "Own Visa" and Freelancer Visa Domestic Workers Legal in the UAE?

Where to See Animals in the Wild in the UAE

Where to See Animals in the Wild in the UAE