Agency maid asked for money

I've had a maid for about 10 months who comes twice a week for a couple of hours. I barely ever see her, as she comes while I'm at work. I always leave her a tip, and I gave her a generous cash gift at Christmas as well. I got an SMS from her this morning telling me her husband is in the hospital and will have an operation tomorrow, and can I give her money and she'll pay me back next month. I told her no, but I'm wondering if this normal. I hear about live-in maids doing this, but is it common for an agency maid to do it? In my experience, if a maid finds out you like her, or have a soft corner they usually do that. After helping out a few times, I have learnt that we must let the agencies know. All workers should know their limitations..

No Singing Canary....it happens very rarely. I'd just chalk it up to experience! I'd never let it change me as a person

Rachel in Dubai...please make room behind the parapet as I am probably going to join you there. Someone once said to me that she would rather be shafted now and again than live her life thinking everyone was out to get her or con her. I think that's a great philosophy. We have no control over the actions of others, which may or may not be genuine. All we do have control of is how we choose to respond. Yes the maid might be scamming, but she might be in genuine need too. The Good Samaritan did not pause to think whether it was a trick. So if you are in a position to help then do so, because we might need help one day. I love the last part!!! unfortunately once you have been shafted just once, it is very hard to trust again no?

I appreciate that there may well be those who will think I am a soft touch; for the record, I have had the same agency maid for 2 years, she gets a tip every week, cash at Christmas and I gave cash when she married. Never once has she asked for money. Nor has she stolen anything even though she is probably there alone some of the time. The gardeners/mainatinance in our compound once did ask as they said they were collecting for one of their colleagues who was having a hip replacement op in India and we gave 250 AED to that. I see that as an extra price that we pay for having such pampered lives and I think we're pampered precisely because many people here are paid very little (unless we're uber rich and have that sort of life in our home countries....that's not me though!). If we choose to treat people decently, as we would wish ourselves and our family to be treated, then we'll all sleep easier at night, in a world that is just that little bit better. I couldn't agree more... THANK YOU

Once you start giving loans to maids you are on a slippery slope. We've give our maid loans, big ones too, eg for operations and so she could pay off her mortgages (yes, she owns a lot of property, all rented out) and she's already paid ahead to July. But the problem is it's never enough and she gets resentful now that we've said no more. Her family put a lot of pressure on her and she puts pressure on us because we gave her the habit. I'd bought her a laptop so she could Skype her family and found out recently she'd sold it because she needed money. I was really shocked. I've told her she has to say "no" to the family-when her sister's father died, she had to pay for the funeral or rather she agreed to pay for it and recently her brother needed an operation so he asked her for money. I think to some degree she likes the power that comes from sending home all the money but on the other hand she is frequently stressed & grumpy If i wrote all the things she's done, you'd all say to let her go but she's been with us a long time and I'm too soft. So, having been there, my advice would be not to start with the loans!

I appreciate that there may well be those who will think I am a soft touch; for the record, I have had the same agency maid for 2 years, she gets a tip every week, cash at Christmas and I gave cash when she married. Never once has she asked for money. Nor has she stolen anything even though she is probably there alone some of the time. The gardeners/mainatinance in our compound once did ask as they said they were collecting for one of their colleagues who was having a hip replacement op in India and we gave 250 AED to that. I see that as an extra price that we pay for having such pampered lives and I think we're pampered precisely because many people here are paid very little (unless we're uber rich and have that sort of life in our home countries....that's not me though!). If we choose to treat people decently, as we would wish ourselves and our family to be treated, then we'll all sleep easier at night, in a world that is just that little bit better.

I would never give/lend to a maid. It is very unprofessional. If she was fired it would send a strong message to others. what message? to keep quite and work as slaves?... just beacuse it is legal to treat certain people in certain ways, doesn't mean one should do it... the amount of money that possibly could be life changing for them is nothing to us... I used a maid agency once and will NEVER use one sagain... It's appling the way they treat the maids, and what they pay them... I'd rather do my own cleaning and cooking than being part of this culture... Do you live here then? If so, are you aware that many of the people you encounter everyday are paid very low-wages compared with your country? Yes I do and yes I am aware. And I do my best to help anyone who asks for it. if we all were to ignore the situation just because the majority of people working here are treated this way then we are not better than their "employers". If everyone just went with the flow... then no change for the better would ever happen... Don't you agree? What is wrong with the employers? What change for the better? If you raise their salaries then nobody will employ them as Emiratis will take the jobs. Then everyone will be out. :-P you think??

mmm yes, and it's the minimum wage that's crippling the UK..... How about introducing a minimum-wage here based on the Indian government's guidelines then? I am sure Clark14 would agree to that because it means equality for everyone... AD, Sarcasm will not help...

mmm yes, and it's the minimum wage that's crippling the UK..... How about introducing a minimum-wage here based on the Indian government's guidelines then? I am sure Clark14 would agree to that because it means equality for everyone...

mmm yes, and it's the minimum wage that's crippling the UK.....

I would never give/lend to a maid. It is very unprofessional. If she was fired it would send a strong message to others. what message? to keep quite and work as slaves?... just beacuse it is legal to treat certain people in certain ways, doesn't mean one should do it... the amount of money that possibly could be life changing for them is nothing to us... I used a maid agency once and will NEVER use one sagain... It's appling the way they treat the maids, and what they pay them... I'd rather do my own cleaning and cooking than being part of this culture... Do you live here then? If so, are you aware that many of the people you encounter everyday are paid very low-wages compared with your country? Yes I do and yes I am aware. And I do my best to help anyone who asks for it. if we all were to ignore the situation just because the majority of people working here are treated this way then we are not better than their "employers". If everyone just went with the flow... then no change for the better would ever happen... Don't you agree? Yes, they really need to introduce a minimum wage here. Every worker should be paid according to the UK government's guidelines... ... You said it...

I would never give/lend to a maid. It is very unprofessional. If she was fired it would send a strong message to others. what message? to keep quite and work as slaves?... just beacuse it is legal to treat certain people in certain ways, doesn't mean one should do it... the amount of money that possibly could be life changing for them is nothing to us... I used a maid agency once and will NEVER use one sagain... It's appling the way they treat the maids, and what they pay them... I'd rather do my own cleaning and cooking than being part of this culture... Do you live here then? If so, are you aware that many of the people you encounter everyday are paid very low-wages compared with your country? Yes I do and yes I am aware. And I do my best to help anyone who asks for it. if we all were to ignore the situation just because the majority of people working here are treated this way then we are not better than their "employers". If everyone just went with the flow... then no change for the better would ever happen... Don't you agree? What is wrong with the employers? What change for the better? If you raise their salaries then nobody will employ them as Emiratis will take the jobs. Then everyone will be out.

I would never give/lend to a maid. It is very unprofessional. If she was fired it would send a strong message to others. what message? to keep quite and work as slaves?... just beacuse it is legal to treat certain people in certain ways, doesn't mean one should do it... the amount of money that possibly could be life changing for them is nothing to us... I used a maid agency once and will NEVER use one sagain... It's appling the way they treat the maids, and what they pay them... I'd rather do my own cleaning and cooking than being part of this culture... Do you live here then? If so, are you aware that many of the people you encounter everyday are paid very low-wages compared with your country? Yes I do and yes I am aware. And I do my best to help anyone who asks for it. if we all were to ignore the situation just because the majority of people working here are treated this way then we are not better than their "employers". If everyone just went with the flow... then no change for the better would ever happen... Don't you agree? Yes, they really need to introduce a minimum wage here. Every worker should be paid according to the UK government's guidelines...

I would never give/lend to a maid. It is very unprofessional. If she was fired it would send a strong message to others. what message? to keep quite and work as slaves?... just beacuse it is legal to treat certain people in certain ways, doesn't mean one should do it... the amount of money that possibly could be life changing for them is nothing to us... I used a maid agency once and will NEVER use one sagain... It's appling the way they treat the maids, and what they pay them... I'd rather do my own cleaning and cooking than being part of this culture... Do you live here then? If so, are you aware that many of the people you encounter everyday are paid very low-wages compared with your country? Yes, I agree. The salon workers get less than maids. The road sweepers get Dh400 pm. Do you pay municipality tax? I feed one of them about 3 X a week. Never a word is said between us, but I know that he is grateful.

I would never give/lend to a maid. It is very unprofessional. If she was fired it would send a strong message to others. what message? to keep quite and work as slaves?... just beacuse it is legal to treat certain people in certain ways, doesn't mean one should do it... the amount of money that possibly could be life changing for them is nothing to us... I used a maid agency once and will NEVER use one sagain... It's appling the way they treat the maids, and what they pay them... I'd rather do my own cleaning and cooking than being part of this culture... Do you live here then? If so, are you aware that many of the people you encounter everyday are paid very low-wages compared with your country? Yes I do and yes I am aware. And I do my best to help anyone who asks for it. if we all were to ignore the situation just because the majority of people working here are treated this way then we are not better than their "employers". If everyone just went with the flow... then no change for the better would ever happen... Don't you agree?

I don't know about you all, but I have been in situations way back in the time in my early days in UAE. I do remember that I had only 5 dhs in my pocket, and another 2 weeks till pay day, and had to walk in the scorching sun and heat in the summer of dubai, I remember in that time I did not ask any one to give me money, as I knew that every body is waiting for the fresh employees to start asking for money, I did not do it. in that time it was money to eat and use transports to my old work in that time, back in that time my salary was only 2500 dhs a month, being just finished the training and started the shift work, means I have only1200 dhs only- the basic salary - so I know exactly what it's look like to be the one who have no money, no friends, nothing to eat and nothing to take you to work. So I do appreciate every thing I have right now, as It come with hard work all these years. back to to situations where helpers do ask for loans, specially this big amounts of money - mother is going to die or father in the hospital or cild in the hospital - these are stories to con you to pay money, you really believe a hospital in any part of the world will put a person on the operating table without settling the balance of the operation coast!!!! we are all going to die one day, no body can fight it, and the most important is: asking a total stranger to give you money and being ready to tell the story of why you need this money takes someone have no feelings to do it, I remember when a waiter - in a restaurant in the airport - noticed that I did not eat at all in that long hours I work - like every one does - he asked me to give him the tea and coffee vouchers- in that time was given to any one work at the airport - and took couple of them and then asked me what I want to eat, I told him I did not ask for food, he then told me you had just paid for food by the vouchers, as the place will take their money any way, and it's time for me to have a bite. after he told me this I started crying as I felt the mercy had come crossing my path, so yes I do remember that day until this moment, yet it was somehow my vouchers but I felt that someone gave me charity and it makes you feel like crying all the time. it's not easy to ask for money like that, it takes ages before you ask for it, and once you ask for it, you feel like you are stripped from your cloths in front of whom you asked money from. so I do know the feeling for asking someones help regarding money, I know the feeling and calm and collective responses of these people make me suggest they are conning you to pay money for any lie they say - I used say not convincing you, as they are not that good in the con itself - and so many people fall for it. <em>edited by Crux on 13/06/2013</em>

I would never give/lend to a maid. It is very unprofessional. If she was fired it would send a strong message to others. what message? to keep quite and work as slaves?... just beacuse it is legal to treat certain people in certain ways, doesn't mean one should do it... the amount of money that possibly could be life changing for them is nothing to us... I used a maid agency once and will NEVER use one sagain... It's appling the way they treat the maids, and what they pay them... I'd rather do my own cleaning and cooking than being part of this culture...

I would never give/lend to a maid. It is very unprofessional. If she was fired it would send a strong message to others.

WELL SAID, Completely agree! Rachel in Dubai...please make room behind the parapet as I am probably going to join you there. Someone once said to me that she would rather be shafted now and again than live her life thinking everyone was out to get her or con her. I think that's a great philosophy. We have no control over the actions of others, which may or may not be genuine. All we do have control of is how we choose to respond. Yes the maid might be scamming, but she might be in genuine need too. The Good Samaritan did not pause to think whether it was a trick. So if you are in a position to help then do so, because we might need help one day. Agreed. Whether with friends or agency maids or whoever, if I had the money available to lend, I would look on it as a gift and be pleasantly surprised if it was repaid. Oh boy, I guess you have never had the office boy kissing your feet as another 'sister' was at deaths door........there are actually people out there who will ask and ask and ask and make you feel like you are loaded. They cannot stop themselves, they are raised this way. No, I haven't, but if I had the money to lend, I think I would give it the first time I was asked and take it from there.

WELL SAID, Completely agree! Rachel in Dubai...please make room behind the parapet as I am probably going to join you there. Someone once said to me that she would rather be shafted now and again than live her life thinking everyone was out to get her or con her. I think that's a great philosophy. We have no control over the actions of others, which may or may not be genuine. All we do have control of is how we choose to respond. Yes the maid might be scamming, but she might be in genuine need too. The Good Samaritan did not pause to think whether it was a trick. So if you are in a position to help then do so, because we might need help one day. Agreed. Whether with friends or agency maids or whoever, if I had the money available to lend, I would look on it as a gift and be pleasantly surprised if it was repaid. Oh boy, I guess you have never had the office boy kissing your feet as another 'sister' was at deaths door........there are actually people out there who will ask and ask and ask and make you feel like you are loaded. They cannot stop themselves, they are raised this way.

WELL SAID, Completely agree! Rachel in Dubai...please make room behind the parapet as I am probably going to join you there. Someone once said to me that she would rather be shafted now and again than live her life thinking everyone was out to get her or con her. I think that's a great philosophy. We have no control over the actions of others, which may or may not be genuine. All we do have control of is how we choose to respond. Yes the maid might be scamming, but she might be in genuine need too. The Good Samaritan did not pause to think whether it was a trick. So if you are in a position to help then do so, because we might need help one day. Agreed. Whether with friends or agency maids or whoever, if I had the money available to lend, I would look on it as a gift and be pleasantly surprised if it was repaid.

WELL SAID, Completely agree! Rachel in Dubai...please make room behind the parapet as I am probably going to join you there. Someone once said to me that she would rather be shafted now and again than live her life thinking everyone was out to get her or con her. I think that's a great philosophy. We have no control over the actions of others, which may or may not be genuine. All we do have control of is how we choose to respond. Yes the maid might be scamming, but she might be in genuine need too. The Good Samaritan did not pause to think whether it was a trick. So if you are in a position to help then do so, because we might need help one day.

Rachel in Dubai...please make room behind the parapet as I am probably going to join you there. Someone once said to me that she would rather be shafted now and again than live her life thinking everyone was out to get her or con her. I think that's a great philosophy. We have no control over the actions of others, which may or may not be genuine. All we do have control of is how we choose to respond. Yes the maid might be scamming, but she might be in genuine need too. The Good Samaritan did not pause to think whether it was a trick. So if you are in a position to help then do so, because we might need help one day.

Just posted this in a different thread. Genuinely confused by people acting as if someone asking you for a loan is a crime... "... I don't understand why people get so angry when they are asked for a loan from a maid/cleaner/driver etc. It is always possible to say no. These people are in very different financial circumstances to us and often desperately need money they don't have in the short term, but will be able to earn in the long term. I have on several occasions lent money and have always been paid back in full, in the time agreed. I'm not suggesting others do the same, and I'm sure money has been lost this way - people are people and some will take advantage. I'm just baffled why people are so surprised/angry to be asked. What if you urgently needed something for your family, had no resources of your own, and worked for a company that could easily afford to lend you that money. Wouldn't you ask? *ducks below parapet, ready to be shot down* "

If my agency maid asked for a large sum of money then I would ask the agency to change the lady immediately. I would need to feel that whoever is in my home when I am at work is trustworthy and this would play on my mind. However my current agancy maid did ask a few months ago if she could have some money for medicine and she would pay me back in 2 weeks time once she had been paid. I had just walked in from a busy day at work and was about to say in no uncertain terms I was not to be asked for money but she said, just 40 dhs madam (and she was full of cold). Given that I give her 100 dhs tip per month and I didnt feel like she was trying to scam me I gave her her tip early and made is clear she would not get anything at the end of the month. The following week she thanked me and she said she felt much better. She has never asked for anyting since so I am sure it was a genuine request and I am glad I helped her.

and this woman is alone in your home ??

If she worked for my agency then I would hope that you would inform me, as you need a change of maid, ASAP.

I've had a maid for about 10 months who comes twice a week for a couple of hours. I barely ever see her, as she comes while I'm at work. I always leave her a tip, and I gave her a generous cash gift at Christmas as well. I got an SMS from her this morning telling me her husband is in the hospital and will have an operation tomorrow, and can I give her money and she'll pay me back next month. I told her no, but I'm wondering if this normal. I hear about live-in maids doing this, but is it common for an agency maid to do it? It is the oldest trick in their books - some client, nice to them, and they will start asking for money. Please please do not give her any money - it is usually a scam for many reasons. Only the other day, a post put up the self same scenario. My advice is to report her to the agency (if you wish) - she is no doubt probably scamming all the others she works for.