Overheard at McDonald's

Why have I missed this thread?? This is sooooo funny! Here comes two of mine. First one Me: Do you have toilets? Receptionist: Pause... looks around... pause... Do you want to use ma'am? Me: No I was just wondering Receptionist: Ok Second one Looking around in Macrudy's for one of those lettershaped keyhangers in the letter 'E', but I can't find it so I take a random one to go to the counter Me: Sir do you also have 'E' He: No ma'am no 'E', this is a "G' Hmmm really?

Called a restaurant initials B.E. at a hotel last Saturday..... Me: Hi, do you offer dinner buffet on Saturdays? B.E.: Uh....no, mam, we only have buffets on Thursday and Friday. Me: Oh, so no buffet on Saturday, only on Thursday and Friday? B.E.: Yes mam, Saturday only a la carte Me thinking "on the website, it said buffets on Mon, Tue, Thur, & Sat" Me: Ok. So only a la carte on Saturday and no buffet? B.E.: Uh...Mam, we have buffet on Saturday! Me: But you just said only a la carte on Saturday. B.E.: No mam, if today is Saturday, then we have buffet as well as a la carte *shoot me!*

Casa Syd, sometime last night, can't even remember what crime I was about to commit : "Mom you can't do that here, not even if you are Australian!" "Sorry love."

New company, new team, no PA as yet, so am helping organising meetings. Requested catering for an all day meeting with external guests today... got an email back saying "Light snakes only." Very tempted to respond and ask for a supplier!

When I'd just gotten here I was speaking to my gardener and he asked if he could bring fertiliser for the garden. I said yes, but please don't use chemical fertiliser. I prefer cow manure, you know cow poo. He looked quite shocked but said he would bring it. The next time I see him he has a bag with him that says cow manure on the outside, but the pellets were blue, so I walk over to him and ask what's that? He says Cow poo Mam. I say but it's blue! Yes he says here cow poo is blue... Am still wondering what those poor cows were being fed.

Levis store at DM today: Me: are these jeans made for someone of my shape? Shop Assistant: yes mam, for big hips and big ass. LOL!!!!!!! LMAO!!! Now wish I hadn't left you when I did!! :D

Everytime I go to Maccy D's I get the same thing: Me: Could I have a sausage and egg mcMuffin please? Server: Would you like egg in that?

Levis store at DM today: Me: are these jeans made for someone of my shape? Shop Assistant: yes mam, for big hips and big ass. LOL!!!!!!! Classic :)

Levis store at DM today: Me: are these jeans made for someone of my shape? Shop Assistant: yes mam, for big hips and big ass. LOL!!!!!!! That was a compliment! :D

Levis store at DM today: Me: are these jeans made for someone of my shape? Shop Assistant: yes mam, for big hips and big ass. LOL!!!!!!! OMG That has me in fits of giggles. It is also the one of the reasons why I wont ask a shop assistant here anything! Just work it out myself or do without!

Levis store at DM today: Me: are these jeans made for someone of my shape? Shop Assistant: yes mam, for big hips and big ass. LOL!!!!!!!

Sorry highland lass - but there is no egg in any club sandwich anywhre where there is no real brit influence - in Canada I would send it back as being a mistake if there was an egg in it (not that it would have been included in the first place). edited by marycatherine on 03/03/2011 edited by marycatherine on 03/03/2011 yes canada doesnt have club sandwish with egg... also have u seen people putting katchup on their pizza... why ruin a good thing... theres already tons of tomatos on it...???

This morning at macdonald's drive through Me: Can I just have a sausage muffin sandwich please Thicko: A sausage muffin sandwich maam? Me: yes, just a sausage muffin sandwich Thicko: Is that with egg? Me: No, just a sausage muffin sandwich please Thicko: A meal maam? Me: NO JUST A SAUSAGE MUFFIN SANDWICH PLEASE! Thicko: Oh ok..just a sausage muffin sandwich maam? Me: [i'>what I said next is unrepeatable[/i'>

Both times I called them they agreed there were no outstanding charges on my current account, and none on my previous account - which was from 2006 - and they even said they wouldn't have closed the account if there had been any outstanding charges. And today the lady said I should never have received the text and she apologised. If they change their tune tomorrow you'll all be able to hear it!

I had a call from Du earlier telling me I owed them money. Unfortunately the 'gentleman' refused to give me any details as to why I owed them money or for what address but insisted I had to co-operate with him and visit a service centre in person. When I said I refused to visit anywhere without being told why it was thought I owed money he told me "I am getting angry with you". Lucky it was a phone conversation otherwise he may have been digesting teeth. edited by Sanddy_Dogg on 15/02/2011 Hmmm, interesting. I had an SMS from a company called Al Wasl International on Saturday telling me I owed Du 1199dhs and I had to pay within three days or face legal action. I've called Du twice and both times they've said I don't owe them anything, and the account number mentioned on the text was one I closed years ago. They said they wouldn't have closed it if there was a balance outstanding. I'm waiting for this Al Wasl outfit to call me back tomorrow. Something tells me I haven't heard the end of it but are they just trying to dredge up every last fil they can at the moment? These guys have been bugging us regularly over the past few months! It was getting ridiculous - I even had a phone call just the day after a bill became due threatening us with being cut off!? I normally go to the Du store in person and pay at the beginning of the month which suits me as I make an international transfer at the same time. Although it means that the payment is a little late this has worked for us since we arrived here! I got thoroughly fed up with having to make additional payments and contacted Du direct and complained. They've since stopped calling me, and having gone back to my original payment schedule, my services haven't been interrupted either!

When I called du the guy I spoke to itemised everything and I'm in no doubt it is genuine. I'm pretty miffed that I wasn't told during previous phone calls to Du but I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I would have been more receptive to being told I had an unexpected unsettled bill if I could have been informed without the attitude.

It was actually genuine as I found out later (if you want to cancel an account do it yourself (as I normally do), don't rely on your PRO or it will come back and bite you on your rear end many months later grrrr!) It was his attitude. It was as if everything was a big secret and he could only give me a few details. I lost the plot at being told that someone was getting angry with me for daring to ask why it was thought I owed money I called Du customer service centre number who went through everything and confirmed that the debt was correct, which is annoying because I have contacted them about the cancelled account in the past and no mention has been made about an outstanding balance. When I called them, the guy I spoke to was very helpful and very polite - in complete contrast to the power-tripper who called me. if you go to customer services to settle the bill make sure they advise the dates for these outstanding charges. We recently settled and closed an account with Du and they have contacted us twice requesting payment. After further investigation and numerous hours in customer services we have proved the bills were not accurate and we had settled everything when we closed the account.

I had a call from Du earlier telling me I owed them money. Unfortunately the 'gentleman' refused to give me any details as to why I owed them money or for what address but insisted I had to co-operate with him and visit a service centre in person. When I said I refused to visit anywhere without being told why it was thought I owed money he told me "I am getting angry with you". Lucky it was a phone conversation otherwise he may have been digesting teeth. edited by Sanddy_Dogg on 15/02/2011 Hmmm, interesting. I had an SMS from a company called Al Wasl International on Saturday telling me I owed Du 1199dhs and I had to pay within three days or face legal action. I've called Du twice and both times they've said I don't owe them anything, and the account number mentioned on the text was one I closed years ago. They said they wouldn't have closed it if there was a balance outstanding. I'm waiting for this Al Wasl outfit to call me back tomorrow. Something tells me I haven't heard the end of it but are they just trying to dredge up every last fil they can at the moment?

It was actually genuine as I found out later (if you want to cancel an account do it yourself (as I normally do), don't rely on your PRO or it will come back and bite you on your rear end many months later grrrr!) It was his attitude. It was as if everything was a big secret and he could only give me a few details. I lost the plot at being told that someone was getting angry with me for daring to ask why it was thought I owed money I called Du customer service centre number who went through everything and confirmed that the debt was correct, which is annoying because I have contacted them about the cancelled account in the past and no mention has been made about an outstanding balance. When I called them, the guy I spoke to was very helpful and very polite - in complete contrast to the power-tripper who called me.

I had a call from Du earlier telling me I owed them money. Unfortunately the 'gentleman' refused to give me any details as to why I owed them money or for what address but insisted I had to co-operate with him and visit a service centre in person. When I said I refused to visit anywhere without being told why it was thought I owed money he told me "I am getting angry with you". Lucky it was a phone conversation otherwise he may have been digesting teeth. edited by Sanddy_Dogg on 15/02/2011 What was the number he called from?

I had a call from Du earlier telling me I owed them money. Unfortunately the 'gentleman' refused to give me any details as to why I owed them money or for what address but insisted I had to co-operate with him. When I said I refused to visit anywhere without being told why it was thought I owed money he told me "I am getting angry with you". Lucky it was a phone conversation otherwise he may have been digesting teeth. OMG!! Sounds like a scam! I had a call from Etisalat last week, the guy was very insistant that I called him back immediately & gave a mobile no ......... I didnt call back & have heard nothing since!! Weird, but prolly some other type of scam!

I had a call from Du earlier telling me I owed them money. Unfortunately the 'gentleman' refused to give me any details as to why I owed them money or for what address but insisted I had to co-operate with him and visit a service centre in person. When I said I refused to visit anywhere without being told why it was thought I owed money he told me "I am getting angry with you". Lucky it was a phone conversation otherwise he may have been digesting teeth. <em>edited by Sanddy_Dogg on 15/02/2011</em>

Note to anyone considering moving here....... develop the patience of a saint and the diplomacy of a royal (ok, lets discount Prince Phillip here), B4 arriving. That way you might just remain sane!!!!

Typical conversation today with an administrative assistant at work... I had given my admin assistant a receipt for a payment I had made to a govt dept. half an hour before. Me:Xyz you know that receipt I have you half an hour ago? XYZ: Yes Maam...*nods*. Me: Do you recall blah blah blah? XYZ: Which receipt? Me: The one I gave you from (Govt dept) half an hour ago. XYZ: *vague look* Me: I brought it to you desk and told you it was for the money I had given (govt dept). XYZ: *puzzled look* This conversation went on for a while before I decided to go away and come back later to sort it out....*sigh*

Coffee shop at work. Me: A BLACK Americano coffee please ......... Yes maaaaam, with milk? Me: No, BLACK as in WITHOUT milk! EVERY single morning, same girl!! I'll resort to ordering an Americano coffee NO milk please & see if that works :-)

Ruby Tuesday DM can we have diet pepsi pls? only diet coke maaaam.. ok that's fine..... do you want a can? em what else do you have? Fountain? ( thinking free refills) yes, fountain, maam - which do you want? what's the difference then? nothing maaaaaaam ok we will have cans... than with the food can I have steamed broccoli pls? does it come with butter? yes maammmm no I would like it without butter... maaaam it comes from the US with butter on... that's strange - we usually get plain.. maaam, you want with no butter, I thought you wanted butter, we can do... by this time I am so exhausted I have lost my appetite! :\:

At a clothes store with my daughter (who is 15 months old) Me (looking at myself in mirror): So what do you think? Does mommy look good? Shop Assistant who happens to be walking past: Oh NO Maam! Me: Excuse me? Shop Assistant: (tuts disapprovingly) No no ma'am you have bigger stomach, you need bigger clothes. I get you two size up? Me: No, that's okay. I'm pretty sure this is my size Shop Assistant: (catches sight of baby, looks understanding) Ah, you have newborn little bebee! Don't worry mam, my sister lose all the weight...she go to gym, now she thin-thin like this! Me: Okaaaay...but she's not a newborn (Fine, she’s a preemie, but she does NOT look newborn!!) Assistant: No? Me: No, she actually just turned one Assistant: Oh she so small! (Nudges me in a friendly (??) way) She get that from Daddy eh? Me: ?!?!?! And what's more is although I'm not tiny like the fillipinos, I weigh 115 lbs!! Another one with DH over the weekend... At 7:15- DH gets up to get DD. He leaves the room and BANGS the door on his way out. Promises to let me sleep in. At 7:35- “I forgot to ask you if she can watch TV?” At 8:00- He comes in to say that he’s making breakfast and do I want any pancakes? My response: UHGAAAUGH LEMME SLEEP! At 8:19- He comes in to get something, forgets I’m sleeping and turns on the light. He leaves the door open on his way out. At 8:30- He brings DD to OUR bathroom for some reason to brush her teeth and they sing songs on full volume. Thankfully closes the door on his way out. At 9:00- He comes in with DD to use the bathroom and puts her on the bed. He takes AGES in there, sounding like a herd of elephants while DD uses me as her own personal jungle gym At 9:15- DH leaves with DD and bangs the door AGAIN on his way out. At 9:25- He comes in to tell me that he’s taking DD to the park At 9:50- “We’re baaaack! Let’s go see if mommy is awake!” I give up. At 3:00- DH: I’m so tired, I think I’m going to go to bed early tonight Me: I know, me too DH: How are you tired? You slept in til ten! Me: o_O

Great stories ladies – I stayed up far too late last night reading this thread! Here’s mine…. A few weeks ago I went into Marina Pharmacy in the Greens in a massive rush seconds before it closed to get some Voltaren for joint pain in my shoulder, so…. straight to the “Pain Relief” display and picked up the nearest packet that said 50mg. Young Shop Girl: “Maam are you sure those are the ones you want?” (waving 75mg ones at me to take instead) Me: “Yes! I’ve taken these before! I don’t want to be swallowing 75mg at a time thank-you!” (exits shop like a know-it all) (At home) Open packet – pop out a pill - blimey it’s GINORMOUS, not like the last ones, and all waxy too…….Oh flip, I’ve picked up the suppository version! So after a few minutes contemplating using a couple as earplugs I resigned myself to an uncomfortable night. Next day – back in the Pharmacy. YSG “MAAAAAAM you need MORE supowotrees??!!” (very very loudly in front of several customers!) I get knowing looks every time I go in there now and I’m sure they think I put 5 volaterns up my jacksie overnight :-0 Would love to know what they’ve nick-named me!

me : I'll have the chicken please. waiter: how would you like your chicken done? Me: laughing... Cooked please. Guess what... It was raw in the middle.... Me: Could I have the chicken with pineapple Waiter: No we don't have chicken with pineapple Me: But it's on the menu Waiter: No maaaam we don't have Me: But it said on the menu that you have pineapple chicken Waiter: Oh pineapple chicken! Yes, we have that muahahaha

me : I'll have the chicken please. waiter: how would you like your chicken done? Me: laughing... Cooked please. Guess what... It was raw in the middle.... Me: Could I have the chicken with pineapple Waiter: No we don't have chicken with pineapple Me: But it's on the menu Waiter: No maaaam we don't have Me: But it said on the menu that you have pineapple chicken Waiter: Oh pineapple chicken! Yes, we have that