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Ice Maiden18262

183

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 09:51

I have to share this and maybe I will be told to pull myself together BUT we had old neighbours plus their child over for 8 days, fed them, supplied copious amounts of booze, showed the sights, taxied them around, paid for dinner etc. And they did say thank you but I was looking forward to a little token of appreciation as they left, but nothing! And it's eating away at me. Feel very used and abused!

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2937

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 April 2011 - 07:34

It's one of those things that doesn't get discussed so nobody gets upset ;).

270

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 20:59

My MIL barely put her hand in her pocket once last time she was here. She half-heartedly offered to give me 'her share' for dinner one night but given that she'd just refused to leave 60dhs tip for a 550dhs bill I paid and left 20dhs on the table, I refused. I told her she could spend it on drinks for herself and DH at the Rod Stewart concert the next night. On the night of the concert DH paid for the first round then she said she didn't want another one so he went back to the bar. He got her another one anyway and she complained it was the wrong drink. Then she said she was off to the loo and DH found her half an hour later in the VIP bar drinking the double she'd just bought herself. Then on her last night she insisted we went out for dinner. Bill came, 200dhs for three of us (no booze). She gets her purse out, I almost faint. She says, "I'm not letting you pay for this, you're not paying for me, I want to pay my share". And hands over 50dhs. I'm cr4p at maths but even I know that doesn't add up. And I didn't get so much as a thank-you for my hospitality. Just curious - what does your husband think about it?

2937

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 20:25

My MIL barely put her hand in her pocket once last time she was here. She half-heartedly offered to give me 'her share' for dinner one night but given that she'd just refused to leave 60dhs tip for a 550dhs bill I paid and left 20dhs on the table, I refused. I told her she could spend it on drinks for herself and DH at the Rod Stewart concert the next night. On the night of the concert DH paid for the first round then she said she didn't want another one so he went back to the bar. He got her another one anyway and she complained it was the wrong drink. Then she said she was off to the loo and DH found her half an hour later in the VIP bar drinking the double she'd just bought herself. Then on her last night she insisted we went out for dinner. Bill came, 200dhs for three of us (no booze). She gets her purse out, I almost faint. She says, "I'm not letting you pay for this, you're not paying for me, I want to pay my share". And hands over 50dhs. I'm cr4p at maths but even I know that doesn't add up. And I didn't get so much as a thank-you for my hospitality.

89

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 20:06

Ashleigh, I hope you shoved the bill down their throats and left them to find their own way to the airport for their last night in Dubai? I can't believe it. edited by simpleasabc on 19/04/2011 If I could turn back time thats exactly what I'd do!! Instead, I was so gobsmacked, I paid the bill and then dropped them off at the airport :(

5400

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 19:37

Ashleigh, I hope you shoved the bill down their throats and left them to find their own way to the airport for their last night in Dubai? I can't believe it. <em>edited by simpleasabc on 19/04/2011</em>

89

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 17:42

I have to share this and maybe I will be told to pull myself together BUT we had old neighbours plus their child over for 8 days, fed them, supplied copious amounts of booze, showed the sights, taxied them around, paid for dinner etc. And they did say thank you but I was looking forward to a little token of appreciation as they left, but nothing! And it's eating away at me. Feel very used and abused! Thats OK, we had guests stay (similar to above in terms of hospitality) who invited us out for a drink to say "thank you" and ordered very expensive cocktails then waited for us to pay the bill, in fact they weren't shy about it either, they passed the bill to us and said, "here you go" really nice thank you!!!

270

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 17:38

Since we move into Dubai we had visitors every month. As soon as our friends and family realised they had accommodation for free in Dubai, we have been fully booked. I always go to the airport to pick them up but also I always expect everything to be paid at 50%. I do not let them to buy food for the fridge but I we do a take away I let them pay. It is true that some of them have been a little bit tight, but they brought enough wine and jamon to justify it. My mum has been twice and I do pay for absolutely everything she does, eat or drinks - my parents are retired now and their pension is just OK - She keeps on trying paying but I dont let her, I always tell her, at least while I am in Dubai and I don´t have children, let me give you back a little bit! I don´t know what my husband thinks about it, though!

Ice Maiden18262

183

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 13:29

I would love to receive a sms but cannot see that happening. And SwissGirl, I have known these people 9 years and our families have been away on holiday together, but they have never stayed in our house. Guess that's why I feel rather underwhelmed by their lack of a thank you! Clairehdp hit the nail on the head - we are all different.

213

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 12:25

Oh my.... Don't you people know who these guests are before you let them into your house? Our guests are our best friends and they would never ever disrespect us. I can't understand how you could let people that act this way stay in the provacy of your homes?

5400

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 12:16

I think the best way to look at these situations is that we are all very different - what one thinks is rude behaviour others feel is perfectly acceptable. the world would be a very boring place if we were all the same. that said......not sending a thank you note is just bad manners!....... we live and we learn. At this point, I would even accept an SMS if I were Ice Maiden :)

2958

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 09:15

I think the best way to look at these situations is that we are all very different - what one thinks is rude behaviour others feel is perfectly acceptable. the world would be a very boring place if we were all the same. that said......not sending a thank you note is just bad manners!....... we live and we learn.

Ice Maiden18262

183

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 09:13

No word received from our visitors so I will just put this down to experience. Thank you for all your kind words and good advice. It has certainly restored my faith in people.

5400

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 08:49

Reading this, I'm feeling so lucky with the (few) visitors we've had so far. We've currently got a Greek family staying and they keep trying to pay, but we won't let them! They called before coming over to ask if they should bring their own sheets and towels with them (I think this is a Greek thing. Gleeky?) and we asked them for booze, saying we'd pay for it and they got it but have refused payment from us. Also brought gifts for dorter and me and for the house! OTOH, if my mother makes it out here, she will behave as she always does wherever we live, as if she's doing us a huge favour being here, allowing me to wait on her hand and foot and cook 3 meals a day and take her around everywhere, interfering with our upbringing of our child, expecting me to agree with everything she says, just because she paid for her own plane ticket (and even when we've paid for it!). She will bring things from the UK, sometimes, if asked, and at that point won't accept payment. Otherwise, we are a hotel for her, with no tips! I'm used to it, so it's not a surprise, but when we go to see her, we still pay for everything and there's nowhere for us to stay as her flat is so badly looked after! I'm stopping this rant now! I sympathize, Ice Maiden and think your rant is perfectly justified, but I'm sure you won't be had a second time! I seem to remember someone here talking about an email they sent to guests before they arrived, mentioning the list of attractions in Dubai, prices of taxis, and how their house worked and what was and was not expected of their guests. Can't for the life of me remember who posted it, though! I think it may have been an American lady, but could be completely wrong. Maybe if she's still around and reading, she could kindly post it again! <em>edited by simpleasabc on 19/04/2011</em>

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 April 2011 - 08:30

HI Ice Maiden, the fact that you refer to them as "Old Neighbours" rather than friends says it all. We have a lot of guests usually family or very close friends. i always feel that we should pay for stuff as they have flown all this way to see us and it saves us a trip home (to two different countries). Most of our friends fight with us about who WILL pay not who won't. I just hassled my hubby to buy a tix for MIL on our airmiles as she is such a pleasure to have over. The way I see it is, if you love them have them over. If they are just coming to get a cheap trip, recommend the Rose Garden. If they didn't visit you in your slug infested house in the EAst Midlands then they are not welcome here ;)

183

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 14:44

Got to say we've only had a couple of sets of visitors (all family so far) and have had great experiences. My parents even transferred some money prior to them coming so that I could book some excursions for them and not be out of pocket - that money was used as a kitty throughout their stay for any trips out we did. And we took turns at paying for meals, coffee's etc. In-laws did a big shop in Waitrose and bought a few joints of meat for dinners as they prefer eating in. We ask all our visitors to stop in Duty Free on the way through the airport and pick up a couple of bottles for their stay. Have a friend of DH's arriving this weekend and she will be the first non-family visitor so fingers crossed is as easy ;)

1052

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 13:22

Aw be thankful they are now gone and enjoy some you time and having your house back to yourself, its nice to have visitors but nicer when its back to normality LOL Chin up and relax its done now, if they dont email and say thanks etc then just dont let them come again say no sorry and maybe suggest some hotels for them LOL Big Hugs xx

Ice Maiden18262

183

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 13:18

Feel cheered by your comments. Have had some lovely visitors and family generally have been understanding, it has just been this last week which was not too good for me. The weather didn't help as I would have taken them to JBP and left them there! But they said they didn't want to sit on a beach in the gloom which is understandable. I so feel like the hired help! But now I'm free again and my spirits have lifted - just wondering if they will send an email!

490

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 11:58

My OH has a friend who insists on coming to stay with us once a year (if he can get a good deal on a flight) he then stays a whole month to make his bargain flight worthwhile! A whole month! He is a bit of a tight A** so over the years I have made it clear that he has to contribute food and drink to the fridge, so what he does is litterally buy only apples, crisps, 5 slices of cheese, 5 slices of ham, 5 rolls and a six pack of mirinda to tide him over till the next shop. He always makes sure he has used up all his supplies before he leaves. He wont take himself out in a taxi, he waits for us to come home from work to take him out, and when we do, all he wants to do is go to karama and buy things that he has haggled down to almost nothing for him to sell back at home. This includes cigarettes. We have got to the point now where when he is here, we tell him what we are doing and he is welcome to come along but he has to pay his way: this means us going for dinner at MOE (Butcher shop for example) and he goes off and gets himself a 10dhs twister meal from KFC. He knows Dubai is not cheap, but he is happy to milk it for everything he can get for free. He was supposed to come over at the beginning of April, and to my surprise only for one week, but he couldnt get a cheap enough flight and so didnt bother!

280

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 11:21

I have never had any problems either. I arrange everything for them, but bills are just split. If they are not already paid fully by the guest as they insist because we give them accommodation. Family has always been on a Carrefour shopping trip with me. And friends, who I don't need to entertain all the time, always go shopping on the first day of their stay to fill the fridge. And we do the same thing when we stay with family or friends in our home countries.

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 11:17

None of the visitors I had while in Doha expected us to foot the bill for their stay with us. Everyone involved paid for meals out or insisted in paying for a trolley of food. Our own DS even insisted on us taking money towards his keep. We didnt ask, they just did it! Maybe make things clearer when people come to stay. "You are welcome to free accomodation but help with the cost of food/entertainment will be appreciated"

5499

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 11:03

Ice Maiden, are you friends on Facebook with this family? If so post your status as "Had a great week with friends but absolutely skint now!"

Willamina De Va...

228

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 10:50

People come to Dubai thinking they are getting a cheap holiday but the reality is that Dubai is not cheap. When visitors book to come I always tell them that its quite expensive here to do touristy things and to make sure they pick up their booze at duty free on the way in as it is cheaper. I always say not to worry with toiletries etc as we always have plenty but I do ask them to leave their sun tan cream if they don't want it anymore! all our guests have been great as they know what to expect and they also know that we aren't loaded. most are content to just see us, sit in the garden with a glass of wine, meet my friends, go to the beach etc. And they all bring gifts for the kids which to me means more than anything.

1052

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 10:44

yep i have had some great visitors IL'S bought us a TV to say thank you for having them, didnt even know they had got it they just took themselves off to carefour and bought it, thought that was really sweet of them, i dont mind having the IL'S they are great visitors LOL they always bring stuff from home for us all and take us out for dinner or at least always go halves :)

833

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EW GURU

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 10:34

So far it's been good. Our guests have behaved well and contributed either to shopping or meals out. Know that when my inlaws come it will be different. My FIL always expects us to pay for everything, but my MIL will buy lunch or insist on paying for her muesli... FIL is the cheapest person on the planet and always make a big deal about spending any money. Will see how it goes here in Dubai. I always let them know that there are toiletries available, and some of my guests have left some behind as well. I do agree that it is nice to receive a little present or if people bring you some things from back home. I think it is important to be quite 'strict' on who you invite and to tell them what you expect beforehand. It's a shame but it seems necessary...

1052

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 10:31

This one will make you laugh, a relative of mine has visited twice, on each occasion the relative came with no money, or so we were told, so we said fine but we are not going out anywhere etc, we supplied the shopping and in return the guest assisted us with the kids after school etc, ok fair enough, however, on the last day on both occasions of the guests visit, can we take said person to carefour off we go, comes out with about 3000 cigs to take home oh my god, takes them home and sells them for a profit, a huge profit i may add, no gift no thanks for having me no nothing absolute blinder :(

205

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 10:25

I currently have visitors, a couple who are friends of DH. So far they have burnt a hole in my tea towel from Crate n Barrel, used metal spoon on the inside of my Le Crueset pot and ruined the enamel finish AND burnt a hole in my ironing board cover and then had the gaul to deny it! They tried to blame our lovely maid for burning a hole in the ironing board cover so I said to them, "okay I will ask her about it" and then their tune changed. I know it's small things but the fact that they are not taking care of our things really burns me up. AND he came into OUR bedroom and used our bathroom scale and then told my DH about it, how he had weighed himself etc...I was so annoyed because I will sometimes leave my delicates hanging in the bathroom when I undress for a shower etc and just didn't like the idea of him going into our bedroom and bath which is our private area. Anyway...looking forward to having our privacy back and definitely not expecting any thank you gifts from this lot. But I digress, I do know how you feel as my mom visited us in March and I watched her buy gifts for everyone back home and we took her all around the usual places and out to dinners, spa day etc and she didn't buy anything for us but my sister and her family and my Dad were all getting gifts from Dubai - humpf.

55

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 10:15

I agree, it's very hurtful. You put a lot of effort and time, not to mention money into showing these people a great time and they couldn't even muster up a bunch of flowers and a card from Spinneys/C4!! Extremely bad manners imo but, I guess as many other posters have said on previous posts, some people presume that as we live in Dubai we are loaded and therefore to be taken advantage of. Try not to be upset, you were a fabulous hostess by all acounts, just learn never to ask these friends(spongers!) again and the next time someone wants to visit lay down a few ground rules. Personally I have only ever had great guests who are happy to amuse themselves, insist on paying for meals or at the least go halves and pop to the shop regularly for milk,bread and other daily neccessities. I could never ask for money from guests but I have no problem saying we are not dining out tonight/going out, but please you go ahead, I can call you a taxi. Seems to work well for us. <em>edited by mimi on 18/04/2011</em>

1052

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 10:07

Thank you egg - I will be upfront if it happens again. DH had to work away for 3 nights so I was left in the lurch which made it harder. And yes I was asked for toiletries!!!!! Aw i know its unfair really, but if they ask to come again just say thats fine (if you decide its ok), however we wont be doing anything, maybe trip to the beach / pool but no eating out etc. Good luck and dont feel too bad, unfortunately, i reckon its happened to most EW members at some point x

DesertRain40980

252

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 10:07

I think this happens a lot. You think you know someone until they’re living in your own house :) We had lots of great guests, currently having the best :) But had some big disappointments as well... Don’t feel too bad about it, just don’t invite them again...

914

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EW GURU

Latest post on 18 April 2011 - 10:07

Have had my fingers burnt so many times with this! Now i always take one member of party to supermarket with me and if they dont get the hint, disappear to get something when ringing through groceries. Same in coffee shops, stand back a bit and take them up on it when they do offer. As for sightseeing offer to arrange but let them pay on arrival when they get there. Sounds tight but we get too many visitors....

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