MOTHERS!,why do you ignore your crying babies?? | ExpatWoman.com
 

MOTHERS!,why do you ignore your crying babies??

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 March 2013 - 13:11

Just came from the mall again and once again (for the how many times now?) just so upset by moms,leaving their babies to cry their hearts out while they push the pram and make as if they are not hearing.This baby could not have been older than 4 months...other times I see older babies crying their way through the malls in their prams!Just cannot understand why a mother does not attend to the cries of her baby!
The only message to this child is:'I'm ALONE! I cry and nobody is hearing me!"
How can a mother allow this!?
I can understand a two year old being told lots of times 'he/she cannot have another sweet or we are not going home yet,sorry!" to be left to his/her own tears for a while...but a small baby under 6-8 months? No!

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EW MASTER
Latest post on 09 March 2013 - 20:20
Don't stop your comments. Put your concrete spine in. Those children's voices aren't heard, try to make yours. I totally agree Amy. How someone chooses to raise their children is none of my business but that goes out the window if they are actually abusing them. If I knew someone was severely beating their children I wouldn't only say something, I'd call the authorities. In my view, if you turn a blind eye to abuse, you are complicit.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 March 2013 - 10:22
OMG reading this has made me sad. I am not a perfect mum, I guess no one is but just reading some of this is cringing.. :( when I was younger I used to cry over abandoned kittens/pets but ever since I've had kids nothing else comes as close to my heart, esp stories like this just makes you wish EVERY child had the best set of parents ever... I agree Redrec...if I read this thread from where it came from,some one simply asking,not criticizing or judging,why some,not all,SOME,moms leave their babies crying,to where it lead to on Page 3,I cringe with you...with sadness,not judgement. <em>edited by easygo on 09/03/2013</em>
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 22:00
the govt is beginning to take Child protection issues seriously. There are several interagencies working in collaberation on this issue. Wadeema's draft law is currently waiting approval from the FNC - it stipulates that every child has the right to feel safe and secure. You can report anonymously to 04 2661228 My understanding is that Child protection is far behind that in say UK BUT I believe it is something that is currently being taken seriously and a lot of work is being done on this issue. From my experience in UK the chocolate eating would not be an issue as that would be said to be subjective(ie different opinions on whether it is unhealthy or not) BUT the hitting and name calling of the children def would. Please give the number a call and see what they say.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 21:33
Is this a wind-up? If not, please tell her that I want to talk to her. I know that this goes on all the time, but your saying it on here makes me feel uncomfortable. i wish it was. I've gotten so upset and cried to my husband but the culture is that you have to mind your own business. i didnt mean to go into all that detail but i was asked why i thought she was a terrible mother and you can see why. and when i've confronted her im basically told to pi$$ off because i haven't had my child yet so don't know how hard it is. A ridiculous reply
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 21:28
Is this a wind-up? If not, please tell her that I want to talk to her. I know that this goes on all the time, but your saying it on here makes me feel uncomfortable.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 21:24
And this is your best friend? friend and in-law. when i tell her what she's doing is terribly wrong she replies "you haven't had your baby yet! Wait and see!" We're not from the same country or culture but where i come from I've NEVER seen any young woman treat her kids like that.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 21:22
And this is your best friend?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 21:16
I agree with those who say that all children are different and all mothers are different, and some babies no matter what you do will cry and cry and cry. You can't lock yourself up at home because your child is bothering others! Life goes on... Being a mother is such a hard job - this coming from someone who is about to have her first baby. I already have my best friend giving me baby advice when in my eyes she is the worst mother in the whole world and each time she tells me "you must do this" or "you must do that" i wanna say "why the **** would i ever take advice from you! You're the worst parent ever!" But in her eyes she's the best. And in her eyes ill probably be a terrible mother and an even worse one for not taking her advice! What to do! I feel like i'm already being judged and i haven't even had my baby. my friendship with her is regardless of the fact that she is a terrible mother. Quite frankly punching your toddler in the face and calling her an animal and dog makes her a terrible parent in my eyes! Am i wrong? Wow! Some best friend you are.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 21:15
I agree with those who say that all children are different and all mothers are different, and some babies no matter what you do will cry and cry and cry. You can't lock yourself up at home because your child is bothering others! Life goes on... Being a mother is such a hard job - this coming from someone who is about to have her first baby. I already have my best friend giving me baby advice when in my eyes she is the worst mother in the whole world and each time she tells me "you must do this" or "you must do that" i wanna say "why the **** would i ever take advice from you! You're the worst parent ever!" But in her eyes she's the best. And in her eyes ill probably be a terrible mother and an even worse one for not taking her advice! What to do! I feel like i'm already being judged and i haven't even had my baby. Wow! Some best friend you are. omg..i'm curious though - just why would you say she is such a bad parent ? Where do i start! She gives her toddler and 4 year old at least 6 bars of chocolate a day, they don't eat meals at all and she wonders why. She calls them names such as dogs, animals and beats them so severely that she'd actually go to prison where i come from! She wears her own seatbelt but has never secured her kids in the car, even as newborns she had someone to hold them while driving. Her kids are so out of control that no one can bear to be around them, they spit at people and call people "animals" when they're upset and she finds it amusing. And since i found out im pregnant she's offering her parenting advice daily and gets offended when i tell her i have my own way, and she has hers! Am i being too hard on her or are her mothering skills really appauling?
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EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 20:12
I agree with those who say that all children are different and all mothers are different, and some babies no matter what you do will cry and cry and cry. You can't lock yourself up at home because your child is bothering others! Life goes on... Being a mother is such a hard job - this coming from someone who is about to have her first baby. I already have my best friend giving me baby advice when in my eyes she is the worst mother in the whole world and each time she tells me "you must do this" or "you must do that" i wanna say "why the **** would i ever take advice from you! You're the worst parent ever!" But in her eyes she's the best. And in her eyes ill probably be a terrible mother and an even worse one for not taking her advice! What to do! I feel like i'm already being judged and i haven't even had my baby. Wow! Some best friend you are. omg..i'm curious though - just why would you say she is such a bad parent ?
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 20:12
I agree with those who say that all children are different and all mothers are different, and some babies no matter what you do will cry and cry and cry. You can't lock yourself up at home because your child is bothering others! Life goes on... Being a mother is such a hard job - this coming from someone who is about to have her first baby. I already have my best friend giving me baby advice when in my eyes she is the worst mother in the whole world and each time she tells me "you must do this" or "you must do that" i wanna say "why the **** would i ever take advice from you! You're the worst parent ever!" But in her eyes she's the best. And in her eyes ill probably be a terrible mother and an even worse one for not taking her advice! What to do! I feel like i'm already being judged and i haven't even had my baby. Wondering how long you two will stay best friends.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 20:09
I agree with those who say that all children are different and all mothers are different, and some babies no matter what you do will cry and cry and cry. You can't lock yourself up at home because your child is bothering others! Life goes on... Being a mother is such a hard job - this coming from someone who is about to have her first baby. I already have my best friend giving me baby advice when in my eyes she is the worst mother in the whole world and each time she tells me "you must do this" or "you must do that" i wanna say "why the **** would i ever take advice from you! You're the worst parent ever!" But in her eyes she's the best. And in her eyes ill probably be a terrible mother and an even worse one for not taking her advice! What to do! I feel like i'm already being judged and i haven't even had my baby. Wow! Some best friend you are.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 20:00
I agree with those who say that all children are different and all mothers are different, and some babies no matter what you do will cry and cry and cry. You can't lock yourself up at home because your child is bothering others! Life goes on... Being a mother is such a hard job - this coming from someone who is about to have her first baby. I already have my best friend giving me baby advice when in my eyes she is the worst mother in the whole world and each time she tells me "you must do this" or "you must do that" i wanna say "why the **** would i ever take advice from you! You're the worst parent ever!" But in her eyes she's the best. And in her eyes ill probably be a terrible mother and an even worse one for not taking her advice! What to do! I feel like i'm already being judged and i haven't even had my baby.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:46
Yeah, makes sense. I guess what I was getting at was maybe it's one of those 'mother' things... that for us without kids we can find the crying distressing but mum can actually tune it out because she knows whether it's a 'serious' I-actually-need-something cry or a 'cry for the sake of it' cry....I just don't know how they can do it (method wise) since I can't ever tune it out even if I want to... lol... Good point about the phone thing, I have noticed even in the last few years people seem less willing to wait for anything, in this 'instant gratification' culture... god forbid it takes me 2 minutes to go get a drink, suddendly the crew are "slow and lazy" or "worst flight ever"... think all the gadgets and stuff has something to do with it... It's called short attention span or various other synonyms ( which would take EW through the roof Frankie Boyle style) - or that other well known ME disease " VIPness" .
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EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:43
sadly I never managed to tune myself out - many a time I wished I could have !! lol
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:42
Yeah, makes sense. I guess what I was getting at was maybe it's one of those 'mother' things... that for us without kids we can find the crying distressing but mum can actually tune it out because she knows whether it's a 'serious' I-actually-need-something cry or a 'cry for the sake of it' cry....I just don't know how they can do it (method wise) since I can't ever tune it out even if I want to... lol... Good point about the phone thing, I have noticed even in the last few years people seem less willing to wait for anything, in this 'instant gratification' culture... god forbid it takes me 2 minutes to go get a drink, suddendly the crew are "slow and lazy" or "worst flight ever"... think all the gadgets and stuff has something to do with it...
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:39
Genuine question here, honestly not trying to stir... but sometimes I'm in a shop and a baby is screaming blue murder, you know, that 'I'm really really hungry or poopy' scream, and the mum is just calmly looking through the clothes or whatever (maybe she just fed the baby, who knows) does it happen when you have a baby that you get to a point where you can tune out the crying? I only ask coz it drives me nuts as I feel so bad for the baby to be crying like that, that I wonder if it's some biological thing where the mum just doesn't 'hear' the baby any more? Like, if she is really stressed, does the body just tune it out? ! :( and this is what this thread was about orginally........!!!!! Yes,you can tune it out to a certain degree but the annoyance does creep up after a while. I have never looked through clothes as my child is crying though. Lol!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:36
I mean waiting with no phone, no iPad just nothing but wait...this generation doesn't know what it is to just wait and be bored waiting. You are totally right about that. There is never a moment where I wait idly. Thank you 3 G. Thanks to you ladies from my iPad apps thread...I coin doze away when in line at DEWA, play sudoku while at DMCC...lol list goes on! Terrible. Are you normally a crying baby then in those situations? :D
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:32
I mean waiting with no phone, no iPad just nothing but wait...this generation doesn't know what it is to just wait and be bored waiting. You are totally right about that. There is never a moment where I wait idly. Thank you 3 G. Thanks to you ladies from my iPad apps thread...I coin doze away when in line at DEWA, play sudoku while at DMCC...lol list goes on! Terrible.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:29
I mean waiting with no phone, no iPad just nothing but wait...this generation doesn't know what it is to just wait and be bored waiting. You are totally right about that. There is never a moment where I wait idly. Thank you 3 G.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:28
I mean waiting with no phone, no iPad just nothing but wait...this generation doesn't know what it is to just wait and be bored waiting.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:25
Well, you could say that I keep mine quiet with a book ( instead of an ipad) for convenience if you like....but then a book would not be disapproved of. I was saying to dh just the other day that children these days will not have to experience what it is like to wait for a bus or train and have nothing else to do but to just wait and wait and wait.....different generation. Why not wait for a bus or train? Once they are off to Uni they will............
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:23
Well, you could say that I keep mine quiet with a book ( instead of an ipad) for convenience if you like....but then a book would not be disapproved of. I was saying to dh just the other day that children these days will not have to experience what it is like to wait for a bus or train and have nothing else to do but to just wait and wait and wait.....different generation.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:18
Surprised that no one has suggested the ipad solution for the teeny baby !! So many little children out there learning life from an ipad instead of looking out at people from their buggy! Yes, just today I handed my baby my telephone to play with when he started grizzling in his stroller. He likes to touch it and make things move around. It held off the restlessness for a while.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:17
Nothing wrong with selective use of the iPad .....you can get educational games and times table apps and everything! how on earth did we learn anything before these things? How about when they are out and about looking at people, shops, vegetables, Mummy pointing things out? Sorry but I think that this is a convenience thing to keep kids quiet when they are out - education is not the aim..........
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:13
Nothing wrong with selective use of the iPad .....you can get educational games and times table apps and everything!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:05
Surprised that no one has suggested the ipad solution for the teeny baby !! So many little children out there learning life from an ipad instead of looking out at people from their buggy!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:02
Genuine question here, honestly not trying to stir... but sometimes I'm in a shop and a baby is screaming blue murder, you know, that 'I'm really really hungry or poopy' scream, and the mum is just calmly looking through the clothes or whatever (maybe she just fed the baby, who knows) does it happen when you have a baby that you get to a point where you can tune out the crying? I only ask coz it drives me nuts as I feel so bad for the baby to be crying like that, that I wonder if it's some biological thing where the mum just doesn't 'hear' the baby any more? Like, if she is really stressed, does the body just tune it out? ! :( and this is what this thread was about orginally........!!!!!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 18:00
Apologies sk, was not directing my comments at you. I think some of it is to do with the school of parenting that says to ignore a baby/toddler when they are having a tantrum, don't give them attention, and it should stop ( didn't work for me). Don't know about tuning out, but it would make sense, if the parent's done everything it can but the crying still doesn't stop. I couldn't tune out when dd was an infant, in fact I remember having to place her in another room and shutting the door because she wouldn't stop crying during her daily witching hour. <em>edited by Sugarbeach on 07/03/2013</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 17:59
Babies are all different and there are some of them, who, when they are very tired, get grumpy (much like adults) and they only way they can express it is by crying. Again, much like tired grumpy adults, they are better left alone. There were many times when I had to tell adoring, cooing, whispering, singing, well meaning relatives to just put DS1 down as he was tired and had very definitely had enough of being handled! Cuddling a baby does not necessarily solve it's needs. As a mother you learn to 'hear' the cries and know what is needed, and sometimes if needed, you tune out. It doesn't change as they get older, I always know for example if they fall over when there is something that NEEDS attending to just by the sound, and yes I've always made the right judgement and spent a few hours in A&E!!
 
 

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