Is labour really that bad?!?!

Lots of congratulations! Prayers for you and your girl. Lots of love xx

Huge congrats! Sending you and your little girl all the positive vibes you can handle;-) Hope u have her home with you real soon.

wow congrats, i wanted to join on on the conversation and give my opinion on labor, but i saw you already experienced it!!! how was it!?hope all is well and i am sending you so much love and light! i hope all continues to go well!

Wow, congratulations!

Hi everyone, I just wanted to tell you all that I went into early labour on Thursday night (at 33 weeks) and my beautiful little baby is in the NICU right now. She weighed 3lbs 12 ounces at birth, but the doctors said she'll most likely be fine because she's gaining weight very quickly for a preemie. Please pray that we can bring her home soon! Wow, congratulations! All my thoughts and wishes to you, your husband, and your new beautiful DD. *Hugs*

Oh wonderful news! I hope the labour went well for you, and that you got to read some of the more positive posts before the contractions started! All the best to you and bubs.

And having a doula during labor really helps! :)

Hi there! I felt compelled to let you know of my 4 experiences of giving birth. I can honestly say that the days I delivered each of my children were the mst precious and special days of my life. On each occasion when I felt the first contractions, my husband and I went for a long walk, and just talked and talked about how excited and blessed we felt. I then took my time and just let nature take her course. We had our first baby in a traditional hospital back in the UK, our 2nd was in a small cottage hospital, our 3rd was a water birth in a small birthing centre, and finally our last was at home in a birthing pool. My labours were not as bad as I was expecting, and i really just focused on getting the job done. i exercised throughout the pregnancies and believe that this helped me with my energy levels. All labours were pretty quick (around 4-6 hours) The birthing in water was great, the only pain relief I had was gas and air... that was fantastic (husband enjoyed it too!!) We were so connected throughout all births, laughing and just trying to work through it together. It sounds like we are the little house on the prairie couple...we are not! I just want you to try and create great memories of this exceptional and life changing event that you are so incrediably blessed to be given the opportunity to have. Please please do not worry, mother nature is fantastic, women give birth all over the world, in the most uncomfortable conditions, so just go with the flow, and I promise you, in a years time you will read a similar post, of a lady genuinely worried about giving birth, and you too will feel compelled to write and offer her the most honest, but most positive experiences that you experienced. Good good luck, i would love to hear how you get on, and if you ever want to ask me anything please feel free to contact me.xxx What a lovely post!

I've heard water births help with the pain but not sure if they offer it in Dubai?

Ina May Gaskin has a lot of advice that really make labor shorter and quicker. The main ones I found useful was - Going on hand and knees during contractions - Opening the mouth wide (like you are roaring) during contractions - Telling my self that I will open wide enough to let LO out - Delivering on hands and knees It's very similar to the hypnobirthing idea, that, actually. Basically, the "trick" is to follow exactly what your body wants to do, don't think about anything*, just let it take charge, because it knows exactly how it wants to do things! * in fact, think about helping it. Don't concentrate on the pain as "I've just broken my leg" type pain, because it's not... it's the deep, sometimes burning pain of the most extreme physical workout your body has ever done... and probably ever will do. It's painful, but in an endorphin-fuelled exhilarating kind of way... if you let it. During my contractions, I visualised what my body was trying to do, urging it to open up wider at every contraction and make every one count double. Dunno if it worked, but when the midwife arrived (this was in the UK), after having a little chat and a laugh (yes, honestly), she checked me out and I was fully dilated!

I had the same problem with my pregnancy. In fact when I was 6months pregnant, this random woman I met at the swimming pool told me how she lost her baby during the 6th month of her pregnancy! WTF?!?!?! Of course I told her point blank that she should use her brains before talking and that is not the kind of thing she should be telling a pregnant woman. If she was expecting sympathy, she dint get it! Anyways, I just want to let you know that labor is painful, but it isnt the end of the world. Majority of the woman in the world do it, so it cant be that bad also. In fact most women I meet are surprised that I still want to have more kids after going through a pain relief free labor! :D My first pregnancy, labor was long, and i was on my back and the baby was big according to the doc (3.7kgs, yea right!) and I think I was more traumatised by the stitches than the labor. My second pregnancy (7weeks back) was simply amazing. 3.2kg baby. 2 hr labor, delivered her in hand and knees position. No stitches. No pain relief. Perineum intact! I truly believe that because I was in that position, it was less painful and quicker. I highly recommend you read Ina May Gaskin;s Guide to Childbirth. I wish I had read it before my first labor, I am sure I wouldnt have taken so long or had so many stitches. My advice to you is, dont listen to those women. I feel sorry for those women that not one of them had a good experience for such a highlight of their life. Labor is painful, but if u concentrate on the pain and allow your body to do what it should, u can deal with it. Please please read that book. Ina May Gaskin has a lot of advice that really make labor shorter and quicker. The main ones I found useful was - Going on hand and knees during contractions - Opening the mouth wide (like you are roaring) during contractions - Telling my self that I will open wide enough to let LO out - Delivering on hands and knees Well I hope it helps! I hope you have a very short and beautiful labor :)

Hi there! I felt compelled to let you know of my 4 experiences of giving birth. I can honestly say that the days I delivered each of my children were the mst precious and special days of my life. On each occasion when I felt the first contractions, my husband and I went for a long walk, and just talked and talked about how excited and blessed we felt. I then took my time and just let nature take her course. We had our first baby in a traditional hospital back in the UK, our 2nd was in a small cottage hospital, our 3rd was a water birth in a small birthing centre, and finally our last was at home in a birthing pool. My labours were not as bad as I was expecting, and i really just focused on getting the job done. i exercised throughout the pregnancies and believe that this helped me with my energy levels. All labours were pretty quick (around 4-6 hours) The birthing in water was great, the only pain relief I had was gas and air... that was fantastic (husband enjoyed it too!!) We were so connected throughout all births, laughing and just trying to work through it together. It sounds like we are the little house on the prairie couple...we are not! I just want you to try and create great memories of this exceptional and life changing event that you are so incrediably blessed to be given the opportunity to have. Please please do not worry, mother nature is fantastic, women give birth all over the world, in the most uncomfortable conditions, so just go with the flow, and I promise you, in a years time you will read a similar post, of a lady genuinely worried about giving birth, and you too will feel compelled to write and offer her the most honest, but most positive experiences that you experienced. Good good luck, i would love to hear how you get on, and if you ever want to ask me anything please feel free to contact me.xxx

Everyone has completely different experiences during childbirth. I have only given birth once (short - 5 hour labour but very intense), and I have watched my sister give birth (14 hour labour) - we both used hypnobirthing techniques - she swears she feels no pain - just discomfort, I am not quite in that camp!!! Some people have bad experiences (our bodies are all different) - so there are no guarantees. My biggest peices of advice is expect the unexpected (try not to be thrown if your birth plan goes out the window) and then, relax as much as you possibly can (during the contraction phase). If you panic an tense up, it does make it harder on you and your body. As an example to illustrate this (non-birth related) if you think of people who are drunk that have accidents that don't have bad injuries because they have not tensed up to prepare for the impact. The same can be said for labour if you don't tense up, it means your muscles aren't fighting against each other as much and it reduces impact on you. That is just my thoughts, and as I said everyone is different, so try not take on board the horror stories, it seems to be a bit of a competition sometimes of 'I went through more pain than you...' which is a bit silly. It is difficult because it is so unknown until you do it, and even then, each birth is different, so how it went last time, doesn't mean you will have the same or better next... I suspect given the stories you have heard, you are prepared for the worst, and will have a much better experience than you expect. Good luck!! <em>edited by TanyaR on 07/04/2011</em>

People telling their horror stories used to REALLY irritate me when I was pregnant. I wanted to say WHY, WHY are you telling me this??! But since having DS, I realised I do it too now :D I guess it's just something you feel like sharing and possibly dramatising a bit ;) Don't worry, you'll be fine. And sharing your story before you know it. :) hehe - I only have lovely things to say about giving birth and don't hesitate to tell anyone who'll listen! lol I actually used to tell people to keep their stories of woe and "unbearable pain" to themselves and that I wasn't interested in surrounding myself with negativity.

To be honest with you, giving birth is painful but I still do not regret doing it without any pain killers.. As for post natal depression, well, I had a very difficult pregnancy because of anxiety ( which i even had before pregnancy), and for some odd reason, giving birth naturally made me feel that I took all the **** out ( psychological pain I mean here hehehe) and after my DD was born, I have never felt better:))))

I found though that doctors over here tend to be a bit quick with the scalpel , never met so many women who were told that they had to have c-sections. I had a natural birth.. like I said, get a Doula... it cuts having a c-sect by 50%!!! fabulous isn't it? S

Of course givng birth will be a 'bit' painful, just compare the size of a newborn with the size of were it is suposed to come out... BUT, as many have said before, look around you, there are hundreds, thousands of women who have given birth before as have their mothers and grandmothers before them. So it can't be unbearable otherwise the human race would have been extinct. And there is nothing wrong with giving birth here in Dubai. I have, and it was fine. Actually I was clearly remember thinking to myself, just before I was ready to push: 'Hey, this isn't as bad at all as everybody (aunts, mom, friends that had given birth before) tried to make me believe' I found though that doctors over here tend to be a bit quick with the scalpel , never met so many women who were told that they had to have c-sections. Labour can be very long, or not. It can be very painful ,or not that bad. Every woman experiences giving birth in a different way and only if your friends had a bad experience doesn't mean you have to have that, too. Often when women get together they trade their 'war stories' about pregnancy , not thinking that it might scare the s**t out of someone that hasn't been through that yet. My advice: Talk to your doctor about different pain management options. Inform yourself about what happens during labour and delivery. Don't listen to horror stories and ask your friends not to scare you with this kind of talking. Concerning the post natal depression, you should stay aware and ask your family, friends and husband to also watch out for signs. And don't be affraid to ask for help, most women experience some degree of 'the blues' after giving birth (all those hormones) but for some it is worse and developes into a real depression. You are going to be fine, you are not ill but you are going to give birth like women have done for thousands of years.

Stupid question, I know. But I'm pregnant for the first time (I've got a LO but she's adopted) and I was at a party recently where everyone was commenting on my baby bump and of COURSE that moved on to all their labour and childbirth horror stories- from the sixteen women involved in the conversation, every single one of them apparently had a disaster at the hospital!! And they were all going on about the pain and 40+ hour labours and the tearing and post-natal depression and how all the doctors in dubai are awful and telling me that I should either get a c-section or go back home to give birth and I don't want to do either, but I will if it's going to be that bad. I'm especially scared because two of the women who had post-natal depression convinced me that I'm going to get it and I won't be able to take care of my baby properly because I'll be too busy drowning in misery... Is it really that bad?? I just need some GOOD accounts of pregnancies please :( ....All my fears rolled into one post....

Aww what a shame that you have become terrified of the aspect of giving birth. All I can say its one of those pains that is soon fogotten when you hold your beautiful little one in your arms. I suggest you talk to your doctor and go thru your birthing plan. Im all for any mum to be to take what ever pain relief they need or want!!. Dont panic, we are all so different, some of us have a very low pain threshold and some of us dont. Childbirth is one of those subjects its hard to explain, but all so worth while. big hug to the OP.

Like you, I was petrified of labour. Mine actually started from 3pm but I brushed it off and I gave birth at 10am the next morning. I myself am very suprised at my threshold pain to last all this time until the last moment. I asked for the spinal block, not the epi(which is available here in UAE) as I was physically tired and DD was stuck just at the end of the 'tunnel' ;) I also strongly believe I manage to last all this while thanks to my doula. I highly recommend you getting one esp if it's your first birth. Delighted, who is her nick here in EW, is my doula. The only thing is remember from the birth is I really really felt like pooing.. lol You'll be fine... and yeah,.... get a doula.. S

if it was really that bad OP no one would give birth ever again! it's hard work, but so, so worth it when they bring the baby to you for the first time : )

I loved giving birth both times. My best advice to anyone who hasn't yet given birth is to not listen to the horror stories. Tell the person who's about to regale you with their tale of woe to STFU... after all, there are horror stories about virtually anything vaguely medical, but childbirth seems to be the only thing where people will actually actively try to stress you out - and seem to love doing so. If someone was about to have a heart bypass you wouldn't be so eager to tell them how many people die on the operating table or how your neighbours sister's friend was left with multiple organ failure (not that you can get that with a heart bypass, but I'm just illustrating) Your body is designed to give birth to babies and unless there is a proper complication, there is no reason why you can't do it all naturally... indeed, there's pretty much no reason to fear it at all, because nowadays, if anything were to not quite go to plan, the medical resources we have access to are incredible. Nature is incredible, and if you let it take its course, it provides all the pain relief and handy memory loss you could ever wish for. Your hormones take over and, well, it's incredible. I said it before to someone else, but you know how Bhuddist monks spend all their lives trying to reach Nirvana? My theory is that they have to because they don't have to option to experience birth. My experience of it was incredible - I've never felt so in tune with my body. ... and no, I'm not some kind of tree-hugging hippy Earth Mother.... just a normal woman who went "s0d it, I'm going to do it my way"

Had both my kids here, docs were fab, no tearing/ripping.

Your body is made to go through childbirth and it will cope! I had my 1st last year and was terrified, and my labour was long 30 hours and I tore badly,but like other posters have said, the pain from my stitches was far worse then the actual labour. Once you have your baby in your arms you REALLY do forget the pain,how else would women keep wanting more children, if it was really that bad we would all only have 1 child each! Good luck with it all, and don't worry about PND either...enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy your baby when it arrives.

I enjoyed the experience....and yes it is painful, but I did it both without drugs, so it can't be that bad.........

Not if you've had bad periods all your life, it's not. Husbad thought I couldn't be in labour as I was so calm, but honestly, my contractions weren't worse than many bad periods I'd had for the past 25 years. I did think I was sh!tting several bricks at the end of the process, though, and was most hacked off that the midwives misjudged me and called for an epidural too late, so I was obliged to have a natural labour, which was not in my birth plan ;) (3.5 hours from when the waters broke until she was born.) The worst part was the stitches afterwards :) I delivered in French, but when the gynae told me "poussez, Madame", I looked at my husband in desperation and asked him to translate :) As everyone else has said, it's all absolutely worth it when you hold your baby for the first time. Also, as my gynae had told me earlier, when I expressed my fears about giving birth, labour will last only 24 hours max, but you'll be worried about the child for at least 18 years afterwards, if not longer ;) I can't advise about post-natal depression but I really do think you were unlucky meeting this batch of women with horror stories. How unkind can you get? It is what it is. (Did I really type that? ;) )

Well I have 5 children and was as scared on number 5, as I was on number 1. As for it being enjoyable - I hated it, each time I did it. I didnt embrace it, I just got on with it and if I wanted to cry and say I was scared, I did. My largest child weighed 5 kilos and was deliverd without any stitches - but plenty of drugs. I didnt just want my share, I wanted any stray earth mothers share as well. In only did it once without pain relief and that was by mistake. I found nothing empowering about it all - it was awful and not just because it was painful. I felt like I was a victim to mother nature and to be honest If I'm going to be in that state I'd rather be drunk or drugged so I dont know about it. My daughter on the other hand is a totally different story altogether - during one delivery she didnt even raise a sweat and kind of hypnotised herself. She has very quick labours, no more than a couple of hours and her last one was 45 mins from start to finish. I'm in awe of her in the delivery room but I do wish at times she was even a bit of a chip off the old block - if only to make me feel better. :D

OP I love your post! It's so true! I'd say labour is bad but in a good way, if that makes sense. For my first labour I just had gas and air and I loved it! It resulted in an emergency c section but the drugs are amazing and you feel great and I'd say all in all the birthing experience is very addictive! I think so many people mistake the post partum tiredness for depression, yes you feel weepy and emotional but you are bound to due to the hormone changes and after 8-9 weeks you should start to feel back to normal again, just don't expect to initially. Enjoy the amazing experience!

I feel eminently qualified to answer this one LOL. I gave birth to a 4.5 kg baby girl, after a 15 hour labour with no drugs two years ago. She's my second child, the first was 3.8kg and it was a 19 hour labour. I'm no hero, my reasons for choosing no pain meds are my own and nothing to do with heroism. I'm pregnant again with a baby due to be as big, or bigger and plan on doing it the same way again. Yes it's painful and scary at times and above all exhausting, but it is ENTIRELY "do-able" You need to remember that every body loves to have an exciting story ( about anything) and as this experience is likely to be one of the most dramatic and yes, perhaps painful experiences of their life, it's not surprising many women talk it up. Your body is made to do this - with or without drugs is entirely up to you. Strong support is critical - panic, not pain is your enemy! Childbirth is painful - I won't sugar coat that, but is seriously one of the most amazing and wonderful experiences you'll have. Weirdly I have found that in each of my pregnancies, the closer I got to my due date, the less worried I got about it! Hormones perhaps? I don't know. Your body is strong and this is a natural process. Don't be frightened and don't be shy to cut people off it they're telling you stories that upset or worry you.