Nippy35 - My Story for you.... | ExpatWoman.com
 

Nippy35 - My Story for you....

128
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 18:28

Hi Ladies,
I would like to thank you all for all your kind thoughts… I would like Admin to keep my post on here, as I will be posting a very important number for people to use if they are in need of help…Here is my story...

On Tuesday 11th December, our off shore bank account were querying a money transfer transaction as they couldn’t see the beneficiary and could we confirm who it was being paid too! I asked to see a copy, and it had come from my husband. When queried, I was told not to worry it’s all to do with my Christmas present and told me not to worry! Even when he came home, he was cuddling me and telling me not to worry and to chill out and sit and have a beer with him! We even went to bed that night cuddling me, again reassuring me it was my present, (I was worried as the amount was 18K).

On Wednesday 12th December, We had our morning kiss, sat had breakfast, I went to change, and left around 7.20am with the children, he walked to the door with me, again gave me another kiss. I dropped my son off at school and took my other son to a Christmas party play group with a friend. At midday when we were leaving the party, my husband called to say, that he has left me and moved out and cancelled mine and the children’s visas. He would only give me 10 minutes of his time, the reason of leaving was that he was unhappy for about 2 years! Which looking back over the last 2 years of our life and the things we have done, it just didn’t add up! He also had gone to the bank, withdrew 12,000aed and left me with 1000aed and cancelled my credit card. By the time I got home, he had removed EVERY item of his clothing, even his sandwich box! All the paperwork to do with all our financials, and wouldn’t answer any of my calls for another 5 hours later. He was not interested in talking or giving me a chance, just that he has started divorce proceedings and that we have to draw up a financial agreement between us for a court next week. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I just spent the rest of the evening/night in a state.

Thursday 13th December, still in shock, didn’t know what to do or who to speak with…. I phoned the British Embassy, I told them my story and the questions I asked, they couldn’t help me, they told me I need to speak with a lawyer, but with a lawyer in Abu Dhabi as that is where our visas are. I tried to find lawyers, but they were so expensive, and I didn’t have the money to spend or how to go about seeing them etc. Later that day I also got my husband’s first draft of his money proposal, with terms and conditions that he wanted. I spent most of the day in a daze and just sat there!

Friday 14th, spoke with my husband and informed me that a court date had been set for the following week, Thursday 20th December. I was told that his financial agreement had to be agreed before the court date, this agreement was for my protection! He told me that if he defaulted on a payment I could phone the courts and get him arrested and put into prison, until he paid what money he owed! However, if I didn’t agree he will let the judge decide, and threatened that we all know which way the judge will favor, so I wasn’t really given much choice but to go with what he wanted, as I was scared and frightened.

Saturday 15th was the first time I saw him as he came to look after the children as I already had a pre booked hospital appointment, the cold nasty look in his face and the way he spoke just sent chills down my spine, he didn’t hang around much after I got back from the hospital. He gave me another amended financial agreement and left.

Sunday 16th December, a friends husband had been speaking with a lawyer who gave me some good information and a number to call the next day. I sent an email to my husband asking for the court case number for Thursday and was informed; he didn’t know what it was. I had a shipping company come in to quote, when asked my husband to pay, he refused even though this was one of his conditions that he would pay for! I also found out Sunday evening that the court hearing on Thursday was not just for this financial agreement but to finalize our divorce! How can I be divorced when I have not been given any official documents or anything, I spent the rest of the evening, so worried and scared, not even a week of being told he had left, now I’m being told that on Thursday our marriage was no longer…

Monday 17th December, I phoned this number that had been given to me, it’s a funded British organization, and she was such a lovely lady and helped me out. She went off to speak with their lawyers and after several calls that day, she informed me, that they all told her for me not to attend the court hearing on Thursday as it didn’t sound right! And it was best for us to leave the country before he could issue a summons against me. They told me not to tell him of my plans and let him think I was still attending this court date. I had a very lovely lady from expat woman, come round after reading my plea for boxes that day and also came with a pizza in hand, thank you so much, you know who you are!

Tuesday 18th December, I funded the shipping cost, just so I could go and take our belongings, so the packing began…. The lovely “Expat Woman” just knew I wasn’t eating and again and came by with a lovely goody bag of food, which was greatly received and just what the doctor ordered! Thank you! In the morning, I had our flights changed from Saturday to Wednesday afternoon.

Wednesday 19th December, packing was finished, so gut wrenching saying goodbye to my close friends, it was so horrible. I called my husband from the house phone to discuss where he wanted to meet the next day, and he said he would send an email. Little did he know I left to the airport straight after that phone call! I arrived back in the UK early evening that day, my god it was cold and wet!

Thursday morning, I received a text 3.30am UK time to see what time I was going to the court and he confirmed the court time, I told him I would meet him there…. An hour before the court time, I sent him an email, saying that I am no longer in the country and that I will be issuing proper divorce proceedings from here, I’ve not heard anything from him since.

We didn’t own a house, so I am here in the UK, living on family floor space! I have no house, no job, no car, pretty not a lot of money either. However, I have my two lovely boys with me, I’m scared, I don’t have much of an outlook at the moment of my future, but all I can say, with the kind wishes and thoughts being sent to me, from all, it’ helps me carry on through my days….

I would like to say a huge thank you to a lovely man who gave me that number to call, without that number, I hate to say that I would of ended up going to the court hearing on Thursday, (Thank you, John and Emma for your help in giving me this number)

Ladies if you need this sort of help or advice, I didn’t know of this company or number, and even the Embassy didn’t give it to me….. Please make a note of this number, it was well worth a phone call….. They are called BCAF The British Community Assistance Fund 04 337 1413.

Thank you all, I enjoyed my time in Dubai, I didn’t wish to leave the country or my husband or my life, it was taken from us without any explanations without any warnings. But I wish you all lovely ladies a very safe, happy life in Dubai….

Nippy 35…xxx

775
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EW GURU
Latest post on 22 January 2013 - 15:39
OMG,hope she and family are ok now, all the best
3220
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 22 January 2013 - 09:50
Nippy,I read your thread last year and was hoping your husband has come to his senses but I see he has not. I hope,wish and pray all the best for you and your two boys. I hope karma comes sooner than later to deal with your ex. Thanks for the update. You are a strong woman. Appletiser, I don't see any update? Nippy, was thinking of you and hope you're alright. Last time I heard from Nippy she was still asking advice on what to do. I didnt know she already moved back to UK,so that was an update for me.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 22 January 2013 - 09:48
Nippy,I read your thread last year and was hoping your husband has come to his senses but I see he has not. I hope,wish and pray all the best for you and your two boys. I hope karma comes sooner than later to deal with your ex. Thanks for the update. You are a strong woman. Appletiser, I don't see any update? Nippy, was thinking of you and hope you're alright.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 22 January 2013 - 09:45
Nippy,I read your thread last year and was hoping your husband has come to his senses but I see he has not. I hope,wish and pray all the best for you and your two boys. I hope karma comes sooner than later to deal with your ex. Thanks for the update. You are a strong woman.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 January 2013 - 10:36
Nippy , I don't know what to say after reading your story ....bravo girl ...you are quite something ..I bow my head to your courage to do that and hope and pray you will find happiness soon ..you deserve it
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 17 January 2013 - 10:13
Nippy hope you had a lovely Christmas and New Year surrounded by people who love you. Hope things are looking up for you and I'm sure 2013 is going to be a corker for you!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 17:15
What an incredibly brave woman you are! Stay strong and keep the faith..i wish you all the best in the future..dont look back into the past and your husband certainly does not deserve your tears! Merry Xmas...i have the upmost admiration for you.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 16:08
Hi Nippy, reading your posts just broke my heart. I couldn't offer any advice and didn't have a helpful anecdote, but I do want to say that wow...you really pulled through, and I can't help but be inspired by that. The months to come will be difficult, but your actions this past week have proven that you are a strong and resourceful woman that is able to take a pure **** deal and act logically. Picking up the pieces will come, you have done what a mother needed to do. I am so sorry to hear your story, but it is good to read that you were able to stand up to the bullying and not be run over any more than necessary. You have a lot of courage posting your story on here and I really admire that. Big Hugs and Merry Christmas to you and your family. x
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 14:35
Nippy, I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. You are a strong woman and you made the best decision to leave the country with your boys. You are a true inspiration for other women and I hope the rest of your journey will be easier for you. Please be strong as always and keep a positive mind and believe that everything will be fine.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 13:34
Nippy I was truly upset after reading your story. I cannot believe men do such horrible things, especially to their own wife and kids with whom they've shared their life with. You definitely are one brave lady ! and i applaud you for that. Stay strong Nippy. Hopefully the new year will be a new beginning that is happy for you and family. I pray for you and your family.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 13:28
i had goosebumps reading your horrific experience, what a horrid man that does not deserve such a lady as yourself and neither does he deserve to have beautiful children, as hard as it may seem you are so much better off without him. i wish you and your boys all the happiness in the world, have a relaxing Xmas and look at the new year a a stepping stone into a brighter happier life.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 12:26
Well done Nippy for staying so strong. Do reach out to family and friends and do follow through with legal advice, this guy owes you big time. You will survive but the road is going to be long and hard, but you will get through this and look back in years to come and wonder how you ever did. Don't forget there are organistations in the Uk that you can talk to free and can support you emotionally and the boys. Also consider clarehdp offer. As soon as possible you need a legal letter written to your DH regarding money and payments, he can not get away with this behaviour. The daily fail is looking really tempting as well!
128
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 12:12
swarovski, you are correct, your lovely daughter looked after my children when I used to live at JLT. The hardest part for me, is to try and let go, we had done so much over the last two years, and to be told, he just acted out and afterwards he still felt sad inside... How was I ever to know he was unhappy when he never told me or even looked unhappy! I was never given a chance to change or to try and make our marriage work. I just need to find away to let go and stop thinking of the things we have done. Due to the time of the year, I haven't done anything since I've returned back to the UK. I am finding it hard to cope and with Christmas only a few days away, I want to try and make it a happy one for my children. In the New Year once I've decided where we are going to live, I need to try and sort out school, job, house, everything to be honest! Then I will get a solicitor and take it from there. Thank you ladies, I wish you all a Happy Christmas and a great 2013 too.... Love, Nippy xxx
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 10:07
Nippy, I am sure you are still shell shocked by all that has happened, but hopefully you can get some pleasure and satisfaction from having scuppered his carefully laid plans. Wishing you and your little ones all the very best for your future!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 09:50
Nippy your husband should be ashamed to call himself a man. He is no man is an evil, twisted coward. You are such a strong woman and I hope you can forget about him and move on to lead a happy new life. Sending lots and lots of positive vibes your way. Good luck to you xoxo
485
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 08:58
Nippy after reading your story you should be proud of yourself. You have shown courage, strength and resilience: something he did not. You will need time to 'mourn' the relationships end, but after that celebrate that you are out of it. He does not sound like a 'man' who is deserving of you.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 08:13
Nippy, wishing you and your boys all the best in the future. It's going to be a very sad Christmas for your family this year but I believe you are a strong woman and will bounce back from this. As they says, everything happen for a reason. I hope you have a strong support systems at home to help you and your sons start a brand new life.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 07:08
Dear Nippy What an amazing woman/mother you are!!! I hope that in years to come over EW that your strength and bravery will help many other women should they ever be in such situation. I wish you and your children all the best in your future lives. xx
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 04:15
So sad to hear that! i think my DD did some babysitting for you back in 2010 when we living in Dubai (JLT) i remember her telling me that your boys were so sweet, good luck with everything! if you need any support/help just ask x
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EW GURU
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 00:13
Nippy - I followed your earlier posts and you have been on my mind since then; I was really hoping that you would be able to leave before Thursday and am so glad you did. However worrying life or your future seems right now just remember that you faced an overwhelming situation and you had the courage and strength to do what was neccesary to protect yourself and your children. Just summon those reserves of courage and strength and you will be able to get through anything life throws at you. Do not let what has happended affect your self esteem as you have every reason to be very proud of yourself. As for your excuse of a husband he is not worth wasting any time, emotion or even words in this sentence on. Onward and upwards. On a lighter note - you are in tthe part of the UK I call home. Stratford really is lovely and very Christmassy at this time of year and a quick trip to Henley - in- Arden always makes me feel like I am back in England, Try and make the most of it and enjoy your christmas and I wish you all the best for your new life in 2013.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 December 2012 - 00:09
Nippy I'm so glad you've come through this week and are now safely home with your family. You are amazingly strong, keep those positive thoughts xxx
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 23:56
Wow Nippy, you have been so brave and handled this ordeal so well. I realize it is all far from over, but you are with your kids, among people that love you. Which is what we all want for Christmas. Well done and hope 2013 will get you back on track and brings you happiness an good fortune.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 23:51
Thank you for the contact info. I pray that you and your ds's have a bright and lovely future. You are a strong woman and to be admired - I will say a prayer for you all tonight. Your children are so blessed to have you as their mum.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 23:51
Here's to a new life and a better new year Nippy. Bravo. <em>edited by norak on 22/12/2012</em>
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 23:26
Sorry, Admin I didn't mean to put something in my other post for it to be deleted. I was just wanted to say thank you to some helpful people. Please leave my post on for others...... please..... Nippy my post was also deleted, no idea why ... So very glad that you are home safe with your family. What a time of it you have had and to come out the other side so strong, is amazing. You are one strong lady. Wishing you and your family a peaceful and Blessed Christmas and a new start to your life in 2013.... Nxxx
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 22:51
Thank you for posting, Nippy, and well done for not being bullied into doing the wrong thing for you and your boys. Shame you have no proof your husband has got someone pregnant, so you could get him thrown into jail. I agree with simples, Nippy, you are a strong woman who didn't give up and stayed strong in difficult situation. I am sure there is a bright future waiting for you. Wishing you a Merry Christmas.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 22:23
Thank you for posting, Nippy, and well done for not being bullied into doing the wrong thing for you and your boys. Shame you have no proof your husband has got someone pregnant, so you could get him thrown into jail. Sorry if that sounds vile, but it's clear he's not going to support you and your children at all, so you might as well sock it to him if you can. Like Desert Rose, I would have loved to have seen his face when he realized he hadn't conned you. Bravo :)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 21:53
Nippy, I think there must be many women here who have found this story absolutely harrowing and who read your post in tears. Indeed, I am one of them. It's sooo cruel and as a parent it hurts to hear that some people can do this specially to their kids. I don't know your ex but I hate him. He should get what he deserves. I wish you and your kids the best! Happy xmas! You are a good caring mum! And maybe some nice ladies from Southhampton out there, that can assist you a bit. It would be good to hear from you again!
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 21:50
Nippy, I am so glad that you got out of here, I briefly followed some of the posts on the other thread and did worry that the court case could offer a very difficult situation for you regarding your children. Smart move on your part and I am sure once you get settled again you will wonder how you ever did what you did in such as short space of time, but you did and it was the best decision for you and yours boys. Very disappointing that your marriage did not work out, especially when children are involved but you can move on from this, it will take time but you have your boys and you are in a country that can offer support. Good luck to you and your boys, you have each other x keep strong x
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 21:34
just to add re Nippy's OP, the organisation is BCAF - phone number below is correct. There's actually a bit on EW about them: [url=http://www.expatwoman.com/dubai/monthly_latest_charity_news_5513.aspx'>link[/url'>
 
 

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